| Poster Art |
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| Credits |
Director: Aaron Cassidy, Travers Doyle
Stars: Chad Schmitt, Donnie Jepp, Bruce Norris, Tom Cooze, Harris Pilton, Vin Cheezle
Screnplay: Aaron Cassidy, Travers Doyle
Country: Australia
Year: 2007 |
When I received The Horror of Cornhole Cove, I had my hopes both raised and lowered by the promo pack. The included information reads like it was written by a member of TISM, except for the grammatical errors, which made my expectations rise. But the film bio was also semi-explaining why the film's image would be pretty unwatchable, which worried me. If it wasn't just a joke, I was in for an film with more bounce and wobble than a Rosanne Barr/Tom Arnold home sex tape. Thankfully, it was a joke, albeit one with some truth to it. Yes, there are moments where a lack of crew created some technical difficulties, but overall, The Horror of Cornhole Cove looks quite good, and is far better made than most low-to-no budget flicks.
The plot…oh, God…the plot, well, the plot is roughly as such. An Italian chicken (literally a chicken) gets a diamond roughly inserted in it, and is then used to relocate the valuable item. Two low rent mules (not literally mules, they're contraband movers) are transporting some chickens, including the rectally rich one, but run into trouble when their car breaks down. They are beset upon by goo-smeared, large-dicked, corn-obsessed, alchemist slaves that go after the chicken food, and then the chickens. The mules (still not literal) endeavour to protect the chicken their boss is most concerned about, and also try to figure out what's going on. Figuring out what was going on would also be difficult for the viewer, but luckily a PI occasionally pops in to explain things with exposition, and eventually makes his way into the story proper.
The Horror of Cornhole Cove certainly has a unique storyline, but is, perhaps, too crazed, as I found the need to break it up into segmented viewing. The film generally overcomes its low budget, and as an added bonus, this is one of the rare shot on video movies where footage of cars driving is used to indicate a passage of time, and not just pad out the run time. The FX are generally about the quality you see in Jörg Buttgereit's Hot Love, with the exception of the very sad chickens, which look worse than puppets you might pick up at a Toys "R" Us. There's not much blood, but quite a lot of goop and gross humour to keep things nicely off-colour. The editing is generally competent, but continuity is still sometimes lacking. However the filmmakers learned from Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill promotion and claim this was intentional.
The support acting in The Horror of Cornhole Cove is not always great, but is mostly passable, and better than average at this budget level. The leads (co-directors and writers Aaron Cassidy and Travers Doyle appearing under amusing stage names) are fine, despite a few stumbles in dialogue delivery.
Speaking of amusing stage names, most of the cast just use spoonerisms, but whoever came up with the pun Vin Cheezel deserves some sort of special award. I think this could become a great Vin remake theme: Saving Private Cheezel, The Iron Cheezel, cheezelCHEEZELcheezel...just so many marvellous opportunities.
The Horror of Cornhole Cove is a bit all over the place, and I did have to space out my viewing, but it's better made and more entertaining than a lot of movies with far bigger budgets. It is without doubt the best movie with fishy phalluses, kooky kung fu, rectal focused acronyms, penile enlargement gone awry, giant sphincters, ass alchemists, blood diamonds, and Italian chickens in the history of cinema. The movie should appeal to fans of the outré Bloodspit and other Troma movies. |
