Poster Art

Credits

Director: Duke Hendrix Starring: Sven Jonnsen, Leon fish, Tom Simmons, Spanky Doll, Duke Hendrix, Zenda Markova Screenplay: Duke Hendrix, Leon Fish Duration: 77 minutes Country: Australia Year: 2006

Roughly 90 seconds in we get full frontal female nudity, which is always a good start. A mad Van Helsing spoof character named Dr. Ludvic is tracking a vampire named Bloodspit. Actually, the vampire's name is Blaughspich, but Bloodspit is the insulting nickname bestowed upon him by Ludvic. When Ludvic catches up with Bloodspit, Bloodspit reveals that the only way he can be killed is to take the crescent from his coffin, preventing him from returning to the Mirror World. The Mirror World is where all vampires are from, and where Bloodspit must go to recharge. It all makes perfect sense, doesn't it? After his rather foolish revelation, Bloodspit paralyses Ludvic.

Cut to 10 years later, and Ludvic announces to his new assistant that he has stolen Bloodspit's crescent (that was easy), trapping Bloodspit in our world in an ever-weakening state. Because Bloodspit can't sleep in his coffin, he's become a bit grumpy, which is causing some strain in his relations with those around him. Meanwhile, Ludvic and his assistant continue to close in. That may be the basic 'plot,' but a lot of the film revolves around the antics of Bloodspit's relations and hanger-ons.

Bloodspit features hilarious over the top acting, and from the very early line declaring evil 'diabolical,' I was enjoying myself. Bloodspit deftly straddles the line between played relatively straight satire of popular culture and full-blown comedy nonsense. There is some gore, naked flesh, and a lot of sexual depravity, like a werewolf's impression of a young Ron Jeremy (though this lycanthrope is much less hairy than Ron). Bloodspit also features some very funny spoofs on Big Brother, cum shots, Viagra, and the Batman TV series. Yes, Bloodspit is a true kitchen sink movie.

Bloodspit is an Australian production, but that might be hard to tell as almost everyone in the cast puts on fake accents. Lots of use of the word 'wampyres' in this film. The film was obviously made very cheaply, especially given they couldn't afford much hair for the werewolf. The werewolf looks kind of familiar, but all that's really visible are his eyes. The only Australians I know by eyes alone are TISM, so the guy playing the werewolf must be from TISM.

The film can get incoherent, but is mostly zany fun. There are quite a few cut away jokes, and the film would've been better if it had more of a story line throughout. Perhaps if the film had actually been about Ludvic's crescent quest, it would've had a more concrete plot to work around. A bit of re-editing to improve overall understanding would be good as well. In some scenes, like going into the Mirror World (which resembles a Something Weird Video trailer), it's hard to tell what's going on because of poor editing and continuity. I think a lot of the confusing edits have to do with conservative filming, where the filmmakers shot as little as possible. Other times, the bad edits appear to be satirical. The editing does improve throughout the film, so I'd guess film technique improved while in production.

Regardless, the film plays almost like a series of skits, but even when off on a bizarre tangent, Bloodspit remains entertaining. There are a few gags, like a nurse's attempted seduction of Ludvic, that are routine. This sequence is also unfortunately quite long, dragging the film to a grinding halt, but most of the rest of the film is a lot of fun. Imagine a fevered, super low-budget blending of Benny Hill, South Park, and a Chinese Hellzapoppin' movie, and you might be close to understanding what Bloodspit is all about.

I guess the best thing I can say about Bloodspit is that when it gets a proper release, I'll be purchasing an upgrade copy. Hopefully one with improved audio, so I won't miss any of the dialogue as I did on this print. If you can look past the budgetary flaws, Bloodspit is an obscenely funny horror comedy.

The guys who made Bloodspit also have a previous feature, The Killbillies, which I'd be interested in seeing.

Digital Retribution gets a mention, in its previous form as Terror Australis, in the end credits.