Porn Shoot Massacre (2009)
By: Ryan Morrissey-Smith on November 16, 2014 | Comments
Lost Empire | All Regions, NTSC | 1.71:1 (Non-anamorphic) | English LPCM 2.0 | 84 minutes (Full Specs)
The Movie
Cover Art
Credits
Director: Corbin Timbrook
Starring: Shelly Martinez, Naomi Cruise, Kasey Poteet, Cassandra St. James, Shirley Harper
Screenplay: Antonio Hernandez
Country: USA
A film called Porn Shoot Massacre could go one of two ways: it could be a lo-fi, gritty and nasty gore-a-thon, or it could be a bunch of porn stars and writers that thought they could make a horror film. Sadly it's the latter – Porn Shoot Massacre was an excruciatingly bad 85 minutes (!) that I won't be getting back any time soon. Worse still is that it had some promise.

The plot is that a bunch of porn stars have been paid overs to do some short scenes with a hot new director. Unbeknownst to them all, however, they are walking into a real life horror film.

From the get go in a film with porn in the title you get fake cans (and natural ones), early and often, which is not a bad thing, but by the time the 20 minute mark rolls by your attention is piqued by girls with their tops on. Possibly this abundance of nudity is to distract you from the average to poor acting. Admittedly some of the girls make a better fist of it (no pun intended) than others, but there doesn't seem to be any diamonds in the rough here. The writing is dire, possibly not even porn worthy, and there seems to be no attempt to make the story or dialogue flow. Stilted dialogue being delivered by less than stellar actors makes for a really difficult viewing experience, and not in an amusing way.

The first kill is pretty nasty and well shot, unfairly raising expectations as it was gritty and unexpected. The masked killer is a bit like the Machine in 8MM, a hulking figure that skulks around offing the girls at various intervals. Some of the kills will inspire eye rolls when something obvious happens, however there are few times when the film does surprise, at least momentarily.

The one thing they did get spot on, and film nerds would almost call it Meta – is the music. For a horror film about porn, it has perfect porn music, in all its awfulness which raises a slight chuckle. Other than that, the best moment is the inclusion of a midget who it seems was in on the joke and would be happy to play a Caucasian version of Tattoo from Fantasy Island, if Tattoo ever twirled a black dildo asking "How am I doing, boss?"

Porn Shoot Massacre starts with a decent idea, which could have inspired a lo-fi classic, if only they had a good script, actors and effects. Not even worth it for the boobs.
The Disc
Bare bones disc. Trailer. That's it. Audio and video are Pornhub streaming quality, with a windowboxed non-anamorphic visual presentation and unexceptional LPCM dual channel sound. But don't worry, surely there is a 4K special edition just around the corner (there's not).
The Verdict
Dead set, one of the worst films I have seen. Amateur in every way, none of those good. Porn Shoot Massacre should have probably been retitled – Provocative title + Nude girls. Do not watch.
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score
comments powered by Disqus

>SHARK WEEK (2012) DVD Review

>DANGEROUS MEN (2005) Blu-ray Review

>UNIVERSAL SOLDIER (1992) Blu-ray Review

>THE LAST WARRIOR (2000) Blu-ray Review

>DIAMOND DOGS (2007) DVD Review

>BONE TOMAHAWK (2015) Blu-ray Review

>LET US PREY (2014) Blu-ray Review

>MACHETE (2010) Blu-ray Review

>THE MECHANIK (2005) Blu-ray Review

>DIRECT ACTION (2004) DVD Review

>NIGHTCRAWLER (2014) Blu-ray Review

>MOSQUITOMAN (2005) DVD Review

>CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) Blu-ray Review

>POLTERGEIST (2015) Blu-ray Review

>DRIVEN TO KILL (2009) Blu-ray Review

Post Apocalypse Discussion Forum
Waxwork Records by MaxTheSilent
Phantasm V??? by McSTIFF
Inside (└ l'intÚrieur) by MaxTheSilent
Red Christmas - new local horror by brett garten
Zack Snyder's JUSTICE LEAGUE (2017) by Rip
BLAIR WITCH (2016) by Dr. Obrero
LOCK-OUT by McSTIFF
16 Guests, 0 Users
Latest Comments
Last 20 Comments
Most Read Articles
CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) Blu-ray Review 1. CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) Blu-ray Review
POLTERGEIST (2015) Blu-ray Review 2. POLTERGEIST (2015) Blu-ray Review
MOSQUITOMAN (2005) DVD Review 3. MOSQUITOMAN (2005) DVD Review
DRIVEN TO KILL (2009) Blu-ray Review 4. DRIVEN TO KILL (2009) Blu-ray Review
NIGHTCRAWLER (2014) Blu-ray Review 5. NIGHTCRAWLER (2014) Blu-ray Review
Contact Us
Australian Horror News and Reviews
Digital Retribution aims to bring you the latest news and reviews from the local genre scene. If you see or hear something that might be of interest to our readers, please get in touch!

For promotional and advertising inquiries, feedback, requests, threats or anything else, visit our Contact Page.