Deadtime Stories: Volume One (2009)
By: J.R. McNamara on April 2, 2012  | 
Eagle | Region 4, PAL | 1.78:1 (16:9 enhanced) | English DD 2.0 | 73 minutes (Full Specs)
The Movie
Cover Art
Directors: Jeff Monahan, Michael Fischa, Tom Savini
Starring: Amy Marsalis, Jeff Monahan, Nick Mancuso, Bingo O'Malley, Jason Norman
Screenplay: Jeff Monahan
Country: USA
External Links
IMDB Purchase YouTube
As a horror fan, I have always been a fan of the anthology presentations. Be it book, comic, film or TV, I have always loved those short, gripping tales of terror that are similar to campfire tales told like jokes to scare the bejezus out of kids, and delicate adults alike. The best ones, of course, are the ones with a cool twist at the end, or even a message that makes you reflect on the human condition, like those from The Twilight Zone, or from Tales From the Darkside, or even the mighty Creepshow.

What a shame that Deadtime Stories doesn't fit that description.

What we have here are bland, sometimes almost aimless tales written by Jeff Monahan, an actor who had roles in Two Evil Eyes and The Dark Half, and someone to whom George Romero must have felt a need to lend his name.

Valley of the Shadow, directed by Monahan, tells of a woman who steals the plot from Michael Crichton's Congo and journeys into the jungle to find her missing husband. Unfortunately for them, what they find is terror and bad CGI. Oh, and a tribe of natives, and by tribe, I mean one native. One. Uno. Single.

Wet tells of beach-combing alcoholic, Jack, who in his search for washed up trinkets finds a jade box on the beach. In that box he finds a dismembered hand which, according to the local antique dealer, belongs to a mermaid - terrible creatures that must be dismembered and the pieces locked in separate boxes to banish. Of course, a horror story wouldn't run true if the leading idiot didn't actually try to reassemble the creature… This short is directed by Michael Fischa (I get it, Fischa… mermaid, very funny) who was responsible for 1989's My Mom's A Werewolf. This tale is a better than the previous one, and has a slight Lovecraftian feel to it, but unfortunately there is more tension in the elastic of my underwear.

The last story, House Call, has a slightly better pedigree, insomuch as it is directed by special effects legend Tom Savini, here emulating the great Mario Bava is his directing style and doing a good job of it! House Call tells of a late night visit from a doctor to a worried mother, and her sick boy, Jimmy, who believes he was bitten by something, and may be turning into something else. The problem with House Call is that for the majority of the film, it is just talking heads telling of what came before. Honestly, it could have been performed by sock puppets.

Written like poor fan fiction, occasionally directed like crap porn, acted like a high school dramatic society play, and featuring special effects from a laptop and a container of Heinz Tomato Sauce along with set design from a Fantastic Furniture catalogue, these stories lose on every count. You would think that with George Romero on board there would be a little quality, but alas there is none, and to be brutally honest, Romero's introductions and outgoing commentaries are stilted and unfunny, with Old George looking even less animated than The Crypt Keeper and not quite as handsome.

The weird thing about this disc is that even though it seems to be one movie, the DVD masterers have decided to break it down into 3 parts that can be selected separately, with no choice of being able to watch it as a feature.
There is no doubt that the image of these shorts are crisp and clean, and presented in 1.78:1.
Just a Dolby Digital 2.0 here, but it is a clean audio presentation.
Extra Features
Only trailers for other products from Eagle: The Revenant, Mr. Nice, Set Up, Giallo, Blood Fight and Warlord.
The Verdict
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score
I am both shocked and horrified that Uncle George would put his name to this utter tripe. The only reason I can imagine is that he was desperate for more money so he could buy an even bigger pair of Fearless Fly glasses. Avoid, unless you enjoy the sounds and smells of your eyes blistering to the sights of disastrous filmmaking.

comments powered by Disqus

>SHARK WEEK (2012) DVD Review

>DANGEROUS MEN (2005) Blu-ray Review

>UNIVERSAL SOLDIER (1992) Blu-ray Review

>THE LAST WARRIOR (2000) Blu-ray Review

>DIAMOND DOGS (2007) DVD Review

>BONE TOMAHAWK (2015) Blu-ray Review

>LET US PREY (2014) Blu-ray Review

>MACHETE (2010) Blu-ray Review

>THE MECHANIK (2005) Blu-ray Review

>DIRECT ACTION (2004) DVD Review

>NIGHTCRAWLER (2014) Blu-ray Review

>MOSQUITOMAN (2005) DVD Review

>CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) Blu-ray Review

>POLTERGEIST (2015) Blu-ray Review

>DRIVEN TO KILL (2009) Blu-ray Review

Post Apocalypse Discussion Forum
Waxwork Records by MaxTheSilent
Phantasm V??? by McSTIFF
Inside (└ l'intÚrieur) by MaxTheSilent
Red Christmas - new local horror by brett garten
Zack Snyder's JUSTICE LEAGUE (2017) by Rip
BLAIR WITCH (2016) by Dr. Obrero
14 Guests, 0 Users
Latest Comments
Last 20 Comments
Most Read Articles
CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) Blu-ray Review 1. CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) Blu-ray Review
POLTERGEIST (2015) Blu-ray Review 2. POLTERGEIST (2015) Blu-ray Review
MOSQUITOMAN (2005) DVD Review 3. MOSQUITOMAN (2005) DVD Review
DRIVEN TO KILL (2009) Blu-ray Review 4. DRIVEN TO KILL (2009) Blu-ray Review
NIGHTCRAWLER (2014) Blu-ray Review 5. NIGHTCRAWLER (2014) Blu-ray Review
Contact Us
Australian Horror News and Reviews
Digital Retribution aims to bring you the latest news and reviews from the local genre scene. If you see or hear something that might be of interest to our readers, please get in touch!

For promotional and advertising inquiries, feedback, requests, threats or anything else, visit our Contact Page.