Slaughtered (2010)
By: Devon B. on October 25, 2010  | 
Scanbox (UK) | Region 2, PAL | 1.78:1 (16:9 enhanced) | English DD 2.0 | 75 minutes (Full Specs)
The Movie
Cover Art
Director: Kate Glover
Starring: Chloe Boreham, Cassandra Swaby, Christopher Tomkinson, Steven O'Donnell
Screenplay: Kate Glover
Country: Australia
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I think I'm going to move to NSW. If Slaughtered is anything to go by, the pubs there are awesome. No matter how crowded a pub gets, there's a seat for everyone, and everyone remains very orderly throughout the night. Things are so well organised that the staff can just mill about, and the music is played at a level where you can have a conversation with the person next to you. Actually, that last one might be a negative.

Just after closing time at a remote pub, a man is attacked and killed. "24 hours later" the staff are heading back to work (must've been one heck of a Daylight Saving if they're starting their shift 24 hours after ending the previous one) and a barmaid gets a lift from her dickhead boyfriend, stopping to pick up a co-worker. The dickhead's car breaks down, so the women continue on by hitching a ride with an old, sweaty guy that's watched Razorback too many times. When this stranger arrives at the bar he starts causing minor and inane trouble. Joining the staff is a new guy with a penchant for staring. He's moved from the city and is none too happy about his new home. Three weirdoes have been clearly identified by this point, and it could be one of them that's donned a silly mask covered in glass shards and is cutting people up with a pruning saw. Because of the killer's get up and weapon of choice I quickly dubbed the slasher Shardface Sawblade. Ol' Shardy must have magical powers because stabbing people through with an ordinary pruning saw proves no problem.

When the staff find the killer's first victim, who is clearly still breathing but is nonetheless immediately pronounced dead, the boss decides to have a half-assed lock in and phone the police. It must be a remote pub, because the coppers take forever to arrive. But who is the killer, one of the aforementioned red herrings or someone else? Only the feeblest brained won't be able to work it out rather quickly, though even non-feebs may be scratching their heads in confusion over Shardface's rather tenuous motivation for the spree.

Slaughtered is a punny retitling of Schooner of Blood, which got renamed for fear that those outside Australia would think it was a nautical movie. The film was written, directed and produced by Kate Glover, but sadly the directing and staging are very flat. The movie is very, very low budget, which explains the acting that ranges from almost okay to totally unconvincing, but doesn't explain the characters' nonsense motivations and logic. Set ups are often incredibly obvious, and most of the kills lack flair. And don't let the 18 Certificate fool you; the BBFC must've been feeling particularly prudish the day this was submitted because I'd be surprised if it even warranted an MA here.

Logic lapses and weird motivations are not necessarily bad things in a slasher film, so Slaughtered should still appeal to those of us that feel there just weren't enough 80s slashers made.
Slaughtered was shot on video. The print has all the usual trappings one would expect from video, including some trailing. This would be a fault with the source material, not the DVD.
The audio is presented in a 2.0 mix which is a bit uneven all the way through, with background noises really standing out. There is distortion during screams or yells, and in one kill the sound gets so bad it's indecipherable. Again, these would be source faults, and not an issue with the DVD.
Extra Features
The DVD comes with a trailer and a roughly 20 minute making of that details location scouting, the filming, and the usual mucking about on set.
The Verdict
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score
Slaughtered is a completely unpretentious slasher that probably would've been much more engaging with better production values. The film's intentions are good, and it feels very much like an 80s slasher that just happened to be made in the wrong decade. Hopefully next time Glover will get some better funding because I think she could make a good throwback movie, and I'd certainly watch a sequel with Shardface Sawblade in it. Maybe next time he could be on a boat and the movie could be called Schooner of Blood?

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