Western Babes Volume 1 (2009)
By: J.R. McNamara on November 18, 2009  | 
DVD (USA). All Regions, NTSC. 4:3. English DD 2.0. 68 minutes
The Movie
Cover Art
Director: Scotty JX
Starring: Erica Campbell, Kathy Lee, Susana Spears, Sophie Moone, Lilian Tiger, Angel Dark
Screenplay: Scotty JX
Country: USA
External Links
Purchase YouTube
I'd like to start with a small disclaimer: during this review I may lower myself into depths that some may find a little sexist, and for that I would like to apologise in advance to our female readers. Both of you. I'm sorry. I would also like to point out that while the appropriate terms are 'breasts', 'vaginas', 'sphincters' and 'buttocks' I will not use these terms; after all, this is a soft core porn review, not a Guther von Haargen anatomy special.

Ok, so with that out of the way, let's look at some tits, arses and muffs.

This volume of the Actiongirls series sees us taking a trip back in time. Before breast implants, internet sex sites and pleather, even though there's plenty of all three! Back to a more simpler time when men were men, but rarely present, and women wore tight leather cowgirl outfits, rode horses topless in slow motion, shot guns in the nuddy, and instead of having gunfights, rubbed each others tits in the middle of the streets of Dodge City - all things I never remembered reading about in my Time-Life Wild West Book collection.

I must have missed that volume.

For those who are unfamiliar with the Actiongirls DVDs, they are usually scenes of girls in various states of undress, shooting guns at ...well anything.... basically so we, the viewer, can watch their boobs and bums wobble about in a matter alluring. Western babes does have a small amount of gun shootin', and also some slow motion topless horse ridin', which was quite a site to behold but mainly features chick waving all their wobblly bits that boys like to get their hands on, in the camera to various pieces of music. This disc is broken up into small vignettes where the various ActionGirls bump and grind against stools, fences and each other, rubbing their knockers and occasionally looking as though they may use some body parts as totally inappropriate holsters for their six-shooters.

My first thought was to point out some of the anachronisms in this film, like belly button rings and chrome taps in 1800s wild west saloons, but then I decided that that may make people think I wasn't looking at the boobs hard enough, and that I might be getting soft in my old age. So lets look at the subject matter of the film: hot chicks and guns. Unfortunately the fans of ordinance will be disappointed as there is not much in the form of gunfire on this disc, and when there is, it is rifle and six shooters, no machine guns or flamethrowers in this one. Shame. The girls on this disc are lovely though, and on the hotness rating, they all sit very close to boiling point. Most of them are beautiful, but all of them have great bodies... I will remind you all though that even though their bums are fabulous, they also provide an important part of the digestive process, so they don't just look good, they are amazing pieces of engineering as well.

I will point out that my particular favourite scene was of the two blonde saloon girls... they were the only girls NOT dressed as Cowgirls, but they certainly had the best udders. The most mystifying parts of this disc were the three cowgirls in what looked like a Pirate saloon (maybe a preview of ActionGirls: PirateBabes) and another where two girls were having a showdown that started with a dance sequence, but one of the girls was waving her hand in front of her nose as if the other girl was farting: see my previous point about arses being amazing pieces of engineering.

Finally, and at my most finicky, I must say this disc does do one thing that pisses me right off. I don't believe there is any excuse for there to be any mistake in the information on the back of a DVD. This disc cover claims to be 85 mins, but in actual fact, it runs a little over 60 minutes. The editor of the disc cover needs to be sacked.
This DVD is preseneted in 4:3 and suffers from a fair bit of pixellation, but generally you are just looking at awesome arses and bouncing boobies so it shouldnt' annoy you too much.
The audio on this is excellent, with tracks Hanzel and Gretyl, Art  of Dying and Soil. There is also some more traditional sounding wild west tunes as well, all presented in our old friend Dolby Digital Stereo.
Extra Features

Not a sausage.... and I mean that literally. Plenty of breast, rump and thigh, and thankfully, no sausage at all.

Oh, and no extras either.

The Verdict
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score
Basically what it comes down to is that if I am going to have to sit in a room in the dark and watch a film by myself, I would rather it be straight out porn, rather than strip club level titilation. Sure, I have a love of 70s sexploitation and Russ Meyer films, but that is more for the kitsch value than anything else (and the fact that Meyer was an amazing camera wielder, both still and motion). I found this to be a dull presentation of some extraordinarily beautiful women. Buy porn instead.

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