The Insatiable IronBabe (2008)
By: Craig Villinger on April 18, 2009  | 
DVD
Seduction Cinema (USA). Region 1, NTSC. 1.78:1 (16:9 enhanced). English DD 2.0. 79 minutes
The Movie
Cover Art
Credits
Director: John Bacchus
Starring: Jackie Stevens, Darian Caine, Kerri Taylor, Smoke Williams, Violetta
Screenplay: John Bacchus
Country: USA
External Links
Purchase IMDB YouTube
A little movie called Iron Man came out in 2008 and made a few bucks. You may have heard of it. It featured a cast of talented name actors, spectacular special effects, and a budget well in excess of 100 million dollars, but as good as it may or may not have been Iron Man wasn't the sort of movie worth covering here at Digital Retribution. It was simply too... conventional. The film's inevitable soft-core send-up on the other hand, The Insatiable IronBabe, doesn't have name actors, the special effects would make backyard filmmakers cringe, and as for the budget... well, let's just say this parody looks like it was made for considerably less than the cost of any one of the military surplus vehicles blown-up in Iron Man's opening minutes. What it does have though is lesbians. Naked lesbians. And sex. Lots of sex.

Now does that sound like the kind of movie we'd be more inclined to cast our critical eye upon?

You betcha.

The Insatiable IronBabe revolves around Horny Fark (Jackie Stevens), the head of Fark Technologies, a world leader in the sex toy industry that has made billions from products like the double drill ass-inator, solar powered anal beads, and the gargantuan groper. After being abducted by a terrorist group that wants her to build a giant atomic sex doll, Fark escapes, by constructing a suit made from cardboard boxes, and decides to stop manufacturing masturbatory aids as she fears her auto-erotica products are having an adverse affect on traditional forms of love making (in an early scene a journalist accuses Fark of replacing the nation's penises with plastic). Instead she chooses to devote her time to creating only devices that will enhance shared sexual experiences for couples, but when she learns that her dim-witted second in charge, Obgyn Stain (Darian Caine), is destroying her company with dodgy inventions including a cactus dildo and edible underwear that tastes like cabbage, and is planing a hostile takeover of Fark Technologies with the help of the very same terrorists that abducted her, she decides to put together a high-tech outfit that will help her rid the world of evil-doers.

Mostly though, she just shags people.

With their shoddy production values, juvenile humour, and frequent soft-core lesbian nookie scenes, Seduction Cinema titles like TITanic 2000, Spiderbabe, Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing, and the slightly more serious Dr. Jekyll & Mistress Hyde have often been guilty pleasures in the past, but even by their usual low standards this one is pretty cheap and lame. There are a few pleasurable moments of Z-grade silliness, particularly during the final sequence when IronBabe flies with the assistance of an inflatable sex doll tied to her back and takes on a bunch of terrorists with laser blasts fired from her crotch and bra, or when she delivers pick-up lines like "Is that a mirror in your pants? Coz I think I can see myself in them", but unfortunately these moments are fleeting and the movie mostly consists of soft-core sex scenes that are very soft, and very un-erotic. Though they aren't afraid to nude-up at the drop of a hat, the women are generally unexceptional, and the "sex" was nothing more than kissing and fondling that resembled some sort of interpretive dance routine at times. On the plus side though there's a lot of it (seven scenes in total by my count), and boobs are on display for a decent percentage of IronBabe's running time, but the sex scenes are shoehorned into the story so gratuitously they almost felt like they were interrupting its flow. I wouldn't be surprised if they shot all the sex first in different locations, and finished the rest of the movie around them at a later date. Now normally I love gratuitous sex scenes, and if the sex was actually sexy I'd probably be telling you to rush out an buy The Insatiable IronBabe right about now, but it's the stuff your average hardcore aficionado would fast forward through in their quest to get to the real stuff.

The film's humour is of the juvenile variety and I did actually have a few laughs (they're not above the odd fart joke, and there are a few amusing parodies of Iron Man's more memorable moments) but this movie is all about the sex, and unfortunately the sex is not very interesting at all. I can't believe I'm actually typing this, but the movie could've benefited from more narrative and less lesbonic touchy feely action, but it looks like ideas were in short supply here.

I do enjoy the fact that these Seduction Cinema titles don't take themselves seriously, which tends to make them more enjoyable than the dull cash-ins from The Asylum, but with The Insatiable IronBabe it looks like they were simply looking to get a sexed-up cash-in on the shelves while Iron Man was still fresh in everyone's minds. It has the crap production values, the poor scripting and the poor acting you'd expect from porn, but it doesn't have the watchable sex.
Video
The movie is presented in a 1.78:1 aspect ratio with 16:9 enhancement, and for a cheap soft-core parody it looks solid. There's very little video fuzz to be seen, and while IronBabe obviously wasn't shot with studio level equipment the picture is relatively sharp, allowing us to fully appreciate the bare flesh on display.
Audio
While the Seduction Cinema team has finally embraced anamorphic widescreen photography after shooting most of their previous movies full frame, it looks like 5.1 soundtracks are still a few years away yet. IronBabe's stereo track is perfectly acceptable though – considering the fact that it mostly features women making out and faking oral sex, it's hardly the sort of movie that needs to use the full sound stage.
Extra Features
The "Seduction Cinema Vault" features an outrageously large collection of trailers for other Seduction Cinema titles. Also included are two interview segments with Jackie Stevens. Both segments are very boring. Finally, if you didn't get your fill of lesbonic groping from the main feature you can watch a trio of "Erotic Featurettes", again featuring Stevens, and again featuring sex that is more like interpretive dance.
The Verdict
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score
When you find yourself saying "Oh god, not another sex scene" you know there is something wrong with a movie. Jackie Stevens is relatively attractive and delivers her lines with a degree of comic flair, but she doesn't come close to topping Seduction Cinema's poster child Misty Mundae, and the rest of the cast is just plain ordinary. If the Seduction Cinema team focused more on the juvenile humour and less on the sex their movies might actually be a lot more entertaining, but of course soft-core sex is their raison d'etre so that's probably not going to happen. The Insatiable IronBabe is fun for at least a few minutes when it's trying to be stupid, but it's dull for about an hour when it's trying to be sexy, so check it out only if you are too shy to rent or buy the harder stuff.

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