Buried Alive (2007)
By: Devon B. on December 18, 2008  | 
DVD
Sony (Australia). Region 4, PAL. 1.78:1 (16:9 enhanced). English DD 5.1. 90 minutes
The Movie
Cover Art
Credits
Director: Robert Kurtzman
Starring: Leah Rachel, Erin Lokitz, Tobin Bell, Terence Jay, Steve Sandvoss, Germaine De Leon, Lindsey Scott
Screenplay: Art Monterastelli
Country: USA
External Links
Purchase IMDB YouTube
The cover for Buried Alive makes the film look like it's for tweens, but I wanted something new for the Halloween season and thought it might be an okay low budget splatter flick. I mean, it's directed by Robert Kurtzman, so you'd think there'd be some good grue. Minus the N and B, seems K was happy to rely on crappy CGI. I would have been disappointed, but by the time the gore started I was so bored I couldn't care anymore.

The movie opens in a very Flowers in the Attic fashion, and with a fake bath scene, by which I mean you don't see much of the bather. Why are these scenes in movies? It's even worse in movies like Buried Alive where the only female character who doesn't get naked starts the movie in a bathtub. What the hell? Anyway, two cousins and some other flimsy characters head off to a remote cabin. On the way, one of the cousins begins seeing the woman from the cover (yes, it's a woman). The cabin's maintained by none other than Jigsaw (Tobin Bell). He's gone a bit loopy on his on in the middle of nowhere, muttering to himself and being generally anti-social. He's found some gold he wants to get jiggy with, so is keeping its existence hush hush. The woman keeps popping up, but by this point all of the youngsters are on X, so if it's a real apparition or a hallucination I couldn't say. The film works very slowly to an unsatisfying conclusion.

There are a few head scratching elements in Buried Alive. There's the easiest seduction outside of a porno you're ever likely to see. A girl declares she's almost done with her bath after dancing around the tub in her undies. A guy is killed and left sitting in a car for most of the run time of the film – now, there is some lip service paid to why he's left alone, but it does nothing to suspend your disbelief.

The lead actress is horrible, and she's the only woman that doesn't have a nude scene, so I don't know how she got cast. It certainly wasn't her ability to deliver lines. Speaking of the lines, they're shit; the dialogue forced and annoying.

As I mentioned before, the gore is disappointing. The attacks themselves are usually rendered with CG with traditional FX used for the aftermath. I'm not a fan of CG violence, and Buried Alive didn't convert me. It takes nearly 40 minutes till the first death, and then it's a long wait till the next, so even undiscerning gorehounds will be tempted to skim through the film.

Aside from a few nude scenes, there's nothing worth watching in Buried Alive, and if you're that desperate for nudity, you'd be better off with a Fred Olen Ray movie. Yes, it's that dull.
Video
The print is sharp, but there are a few spots and grain is heavy at times.
Audio
The audio is a 5.1 mix, but there's not a lot of use of the surround sound capabilities. The soundtrack is terrible, so you'll be tempted to mute the whole damn movie.
Extra Features
None to a real person, trailers for West, In the Land of Women, Cherry Crush, and Undead or Alive for losers that count that sort of thing as extras.
The Verdict
I was hoping for at least a passable Evil Dead knock off, but Buried Alive is just a boring crap of a film. I'm out the $2 it cost to rent it and 90 or so minutes of my life. I implore you, learn from my mistake.
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score

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