I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
By: J.R. McNamara on December 8, 2008  | 
Icon (Australia). Region 2 & 4, PAL. 2.35:1 (16:9 enhanced). English DD 5.1, English DD 2.0. 101 minutes
The Movie
Cover Art
Director: Chris Sivertson
Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough
Screenplay: Jeff Hammond
Country: USA
External Links
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This movie, I am almost sure, will actually be known by all cast and crew involved as either 'I Know Who Destroyed My Career' or 'I Know What Film Will Be Kept Off My Resume'.

I Know Who Killed Me tells the story of promising student Aubrey (Linsey Lohan), an aspiring writer and pianist who is one day abducted by a serial killer who is known to amputate the limbs of his victims. Obviously her parents, Susan (Julia Ormond) and Steven (Neil McDonough) are frantic at her disappearance, and again, are obviously relieved when she reappears… sans her right arm from just past the elbow, and her right leg, removed just below the knee.

The problem is, Aubrey has gone through such a traumatic experience, that it would seem she has retreated into another personality, this one being the pole dancing offspring of a crack addicted prostitute, Dakota (again Linsey Lohan). The thing is though, no matter how much she is pressured, she continues along with the 'Dakota' persona, and even the police and psychologists can't get her to tell the truth… but is she telling the truth?

Could there be two Aubreys? Or two Dakotas? If so, how, and who is this disturbed individual perverting the bodies of young girls for his own nasty means?

This film has the dubious honor of receiving the most Razzie awards, which are the antithesis of the Academy Awards. Now let me just point out that 8 awards means it is worse than Catwoman… let me repeat that, WORSE than CATWOMAN. I don't think it to be SO bad, and I see there as being only one problem with this film, and that is Linsey Lohan's casting in the lead role(s). The film looks great, the director is no less competent that any other horror film I have seen in the last 30 years, and his use of mis-direction to me seems to be just as well developed as M. Night Shamalayan's , and the screenplay, while a loooooooong stretch of the imagination, is no more a stupid premise than that in White Noise or running zombies.

I have always believed that the only real difference between a B film and an A film is the performances of the lead cast, and this is evidence of that. There is really nothing wrong with this movie, except for the disdainful performance by Lohan. She appears so bored by the entire process that I am surprised that she was able to stifle her yawns. Don't get me wrong, I sometimes like Lohan, and thoroughly enjoyed Mean Girls, but in this she is far out of her depth, playing a role more suited to someone with some acting chops, like Maggie Gyllenhal for example. The sex scene in it is un-sexier than watching your grand-parents going at it doggy-style, and the pole dance sequence… well' I will just say that watching my cat clean herself is more of a turn-on. Linsey Lohan, who is a nice looking girl with some great lumpy bits in some great places, just can't be sexy. Also, the police in this film are as an ineffective a bunch of douchebags as you have seen in Last House on the Left. Well OK, maybe not that bad, but pretty freaking close.

On the plus side this film offers some pretty good torture scenes, though obviously not to a Hostel or even the uncut Captivity degree, but there is some decent mutilation for those that like that sort of thing. Unfortunately there are also some bad other effects that don't work very well and shatter any iota of suspension of disbelief that you may have achieved.

While trying not to give too much about this film away, I will say it is the worst ever translation of the Corsican Brother ever, mainly because the idea is far too literal!
The film is presented in its original 2.35:1 aspect ratio with 16:9 enhancement and is a really nice image. The blues, which play an important part in the film, give some parts of it such a cold look that you can really feel it.
A particularly rich Digital 5.1 soundtrack that is perfect, although the piano soundtrack seems to be far too melodramatic for a film as silly as this.
Extra Features
First there are alternate opening and ending sequences - neither of which would have saved the film so we are better off without them, mainly as it makes the film shorter with them not being present.

There is an extended Linsey Lohan pole dancing sequence which, I am afraid, is just as pathetic as the thankfully short version ion the film. If you want to see an extended strip sequence on a DVD, watch the Barb Wire one with Pamela Anderson… now she knows how to strip!! I am surprised the studio hired Lohan for a role of a stripper: in a film such as this, why bother to hire a stripper who won't strip? It's almost as useless as Jessica Alba's non-topless, topless dancer in Sin City. If someone is gonna play a role like that, either get an actress who is willing to pop 'em out, or a stripper who is a good liar.

Bloopers, everybody loves bloopers, right? Not these ones: dull, unfunny and just superfluous.
The Verdict
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score
At times this film is quite exquisite to look at, but Linsey Lohan's contemptuous performance spoils it completely. If this film was made as a vehicle for Lohan's career, I am afraid the vehicle has careened off the highway and into a tree, and the people inside dragged out and eaten by cannibals. No matter how pretty it looks, crap is still crap. Average film, terrible extras - read a book instead.

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