Sexual Parasite (2004)
By: Mr Intolerance on November 12, 2008  |  Comments  |  Bookmark and Share
DVD
Discotek (USA). All Regions, NTSC. 4:3. Japanese DD 2.0. English Subtitles. 60 minutes
The Movie
Credits
Director: Takao Nakano
Starring: Sakurako Kaoru, Natsumi Mitsu, Tomohiro Okada
Screenplay: Takao Nakano
Country: Japan
External Links
Purchase IMDB YouTube
When the alternate title for a film is Killer Pussy – and I ain't talkin' cats, here – you don't really set your sights too high in terms of entertainment. You tend to settle for whatever you get, knowing it probably won't be too much. Oh well, fun's where you find it, I suppose.

Sayoko is part of an expedition, presumably an exploitative one, to the Amazon. Back in the day when the expedition is happening, she gets infected by the sexual parasite (remarkably similar to the titular monster in the old Demi Moore flick Parasite – a film I used to love back in the 80s), which gives her the ole Vagina Dentata, or Namazu, in Japanese – a voracios and almost immovable cunt with teeth, effectively. You can probably already see what's going to happen, and a number of times, already.

A year later and a bunch of kids are in the countryside in Japan, presumably heading to a rave or a holiday – it's never spelt out – and predictably, their van breaks down. Oh, there are so many things we learn about the gang. Firstly, they are about the most unlikeable bunch of cunts we're likely to find around, and also that the sexual tension is certainly there, with two of the girls trying to convince themselves that they aren't lesbians, despite a rather large tongue sambo being delivered for the camera rather early on between two potential lezzers.

The gang find a condemned building in their search for a phone, their cell phones not working (I think there was some kind of Japanese youth-culture satire happening here, from the camerawork), The kids rapidly lose interest in finding a phone, as they've instead found porn and liquor – do I even need to point out where this plot is leading? Think Western slasher films – solve this equation: teen sexuality + a lack of social responsibility = ? You know the answer as well as I do.

So some of the kids come across Sayoko's frozen body and stupidly allow it to re-animate in the search for food, and it's really a no-brainer that the parasite's gonna come back to life, and start slaughtering teens, having been passed on to one of them. Can I point out at this moment that there is a lot of nekkid Japanese breasty action going on here. This rules, even if the film isn't so hot. Good-looking Japanese girls are hot. No, scratch that, very hot. They make their Western counterparts look very shabby indeed.

Mari, who's the victim de jour of The Beast (and who has amazing boobies, and no mistake), leads Hiroshi, the nerd of the gang off for a bit of "how's yer father", but he starts getting suspicious when she's got the most revolting yeasty discharge pouring out of her cunt. Seriously, it's like porridge. Just groove on that for a while. And yet, he still wants to bang her, despite the fact he thinks someone's already fucked her – his ballbag must be all wrong, for that matter, because if he thinks that thick, sludgy goop she's emitting is another man's cum, then what the hell does he produce after he's been shaking hands with the governor of love, if you take my meaning. And the other teens are only thinking in terms of sex stuff, too. You just know badness will ensue – we've all seen the Friday the 13th series – sexuality is a deathmark people. When will those cinematic irresponsible teens learn?!

Must say, at this point, the sound effects were a bit on the over-exaggerated side, lots of very liquid noises, to put it mildly. Cunnilingus sounds like a dog lapping at a bowl of water, and actual penetrative sex sounds about as inviting as putting your cock into a bowl of three-week old porridge. But of course, this is going to wake up the parasite, especially when the Lothario of choice utters the immortal line: "This feels all tingly. It almost hurts…".

Teeth anyone? Ouch! Gentlemen, cross your legs. And believe me, Mari is not a chick you would want sitting on your face anytime soon. The sounds the other kids hear letting them know something's up, and that Hiroshi's number is well and truly up. It's probably not so hot for the chicks that they're in bikinis or their underwear and high-heeled knee high leather boots, in terms of making an escape or fighting off an assailant, but it's okay for their audience…

Mari locks herself away in the freezer Sayoko was found in, but her friends stupidly want to save her, and yet we all know that can't go well, given the whole parasite thing…and the rather awful evidence we've seen. And then a whole new story-line breaks out, and this film gets a new lease of life. Doesn't mean it gets any better, just means it gets crazy. And crazy is good – who wouldn't want to see two hot young naked and potentially lesbonic Japanese chicks having a wrestle covered in blood and sweat and rubbing their boobies together? I know I would…  And that pesky parasite? We find out it can move from victim to another if it wants, but you wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of its attentions – we all know 'tis better to give than receive.

And, we find out that not only does it take over the minds of its host turning them into absolute sex maniacs (Shivers, anyone?) and cannibals, but also that it's multiplied…

Seriously, this film riffs on Parasite and The Deadly Spawn so hard it's almost a joke. It also makes you cast your mind back to other Japanese V-movies like Evil Dead Trap and Entrails of a Virgin or Guts of a Beauty – actually, if those last two films are in high rotation at your place, this would definitely sit well in your collection with them. There's some good splatter, if rather low budget, and the same kind of goofy black splat-schtick humour. There are also some rather amusing shots from inside the vaginas of the afflicted, which definitely reminded me of Entrails of a Virgin. As with that film, the sex angle is played within an inch of its life. This shit out-Troma's Troma. Just when you think you've seen the lowest brow humour/horror flick you can see made on a shoe string budget, this film will top it – except for maybe Street Trash. This doesn't necessarily mean it's a good film, but it does mean it's a film that will entertain you, and more importantly a film that will make you groan and roll your eyes. Basically, if you're a real horror fan, you should be counting the number of references to other films that this one makes. Then add a bunch of Japanese boobs. The ending will remain a mystery however, unless you see the film itself, but my final statement has to point out that the final tooling up sequence is a thing of silliness and beauty, especially given the fact that our heroine Ryoko has enormous boobs.   
Video
Okay, but certainly nothing great. Firstly, it's in fullscreen – never a good thing – secondly, it's not a particularly sharp picture, having seemingly been shot for video release, rather than cinematic. A couple of moments of optical fogging occur, but I honestly didn't notice them until a second viewing.
Audio
A serviceable soundtrack in Japanese 2.0 with English subs, but not one that screams for attention. Flat and lifeless, basically, but with grotesquely funny extra loud gooey noises at appropriate moments.
Extra Features
A bunch of trailers for bizarro Asian films: Star of David: Beautiful Girl Hunter, Bohachi: Clan of the Forgotten Eight and A Chinese Torture Chamber Story. It kinda makes sense after you watch the film why these ones have been chosen. Not a great package, however.
The Verdict
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score
Silly, but fun, basically. Not one of the world's greatest films, but I've seen far worse by the same token. Are you getting my vibe? This is really not a horror film, more a gross-out splat-schtick comedy a la Brain Dead or Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, and it's one that's a hell of a lot more entertaining than the average Troma movie – if that appeals to you, you'll probably really like it. As a film, it's a laugh, but not by any means an essential addition to your collection. File next to violent oddball Japanese splatter comedies like Wild Zero or Stacy, or maybe even Suicide Club, or any of the other J-weirdness mentioned above. If that's your bent, investigate immediately.

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