Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (2002)
By: Devon Bertsch on August 16, 2008.
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| Lions Gate (USA). Region 1, NTSC. 1.78:1 (16:9 enhanced). English DD 5.1. English, Spanish subtitles. 93 minutes |
| The Movie |
| Cover Art |
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| Credits |
Director: Gary Jones
Starring: Heidi Noelle Lenhart, Chuck Walczak, Jon Sklaroff, Darryl Theirse
Screenplay: Jace Anderson, Adam Gierasch
Country: USA |
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If people doubt the directorial abilities of Gary Jones, Crocodile 2: Death Swamp's boring split screen phone call ought to set them right. I haven't seen that technique done so flatly since the last soap commercial comparing two levels of grease.
Crocodile 2 is the story of magical robbers who end up in some trouble. I figure they're magical even though the movie makes no mention of this, as they have mysterious powers enabling them to board planes while fully armed without the metal detectors going off. Despite their supernatural gifts, these robbers botch the robbery they were supposed to do and end up hijacking a plane, which then crashes into a swamp. The magic robbers seem fine after the explosive crash, so their powers must also extend to surviving within flaming wreckages. They take the other survivors with them as they leave the plane, and there are a LOT of them so maybe surviving crashes isn't a special power. I'm not sure why they take them, but they do. While leaving the crash site, one of the party is attacked by a crocodile. The robbers put their guns to good use, a bad idea since the croc's mate finds the bullet laden carcass and gets mad and goes for revenge, just like it would happen in real life. Martin Kove eventually turns up to help find the survivors because not enough Karate Kid alumni have been in big monster movies.
Crocodile 2 suffers from terrible dramatics, spiced with terrible comedy and even worse attempts at characterisation. Logic is completely absent, like given the location the movie should feature giant caimans. There's really, really bad ADR, and there's this prominently displayed lighter that's role in the plot is so obvious it deserved a special Oscar for "Most Obvious Use of a Prominently Displayed Prop." I had nearly 30 minutes to get really annoyed with all of that crap before the crocodiles even turned up.
Thankfully, the crocodiles are mostly decent, a mix of CG and real FX. They make funny noises, and repeatedly bite for some reason, but at times they look pretty cool. The CG is okay most of the time, but does falter pretty badly on occasion. The bigger crocodile model looks HUGE, but sometimes it's really funny looking. Others times it's pretty cool, and it stalking people on land is surprisingly well done, even if it doesn't make sense. Whoever designed the croc gave him really bad digestion, though, because he swallows one person whole and then half the body turns up later. The scale is a little inconsistent at times, and the croc is particularly bad during the ending while doing the world's longest death roll. |
| Video |
| The print contains some specks and grain. The image is a little soft too, so maybe the source material wasn't good to begin with. That doesn't make a lot of sense, since it's a newer movie, but then nothing about the movie itself makes sense, so why should you trust anyone making it to do it right? |
| Audio |
| Oddly, the 5.1 audio is quite good, with some nice action that allows for things to sound like they're happening all around you. |
| Extra Features |
| True to form, Lions Gate has hidden the "extras" in their logo on the main menu. Click the Lions Gate logo to see trailers for Crocodile, Crocodile 2 and Octopus 2. Sadly, I think Crocodile 2 is actually the best film out of those three. |
| The Verdict |
| Definitely worth checking out if you're wondering just how many times a warning that starts with, "Say one more thing" can possibly be given. Before Crocodile 2, I would have wrongly presumed it should only be issued once. Fans of stupid croc movies should enjoy the movie once the crocs turn up, but there's a lot to suffer through to get there. |
| The Rating |
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