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Director: David Flores Starring: John Schneider, Sarah Lafleur, Sam McMurray, Chad Collins Screenplay: Todd Hurvitz, Howie Miller Country: USA

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Lake Placid 2 is about some ranger guy that is definitely not Bill Pullman, and a far worse actor. Yes, you read that right, a far worse actor than BILL PULLMAN. Anyway, not Bill is having his son come to visit him, but before they can get all father and sonny, a guy working on the nearby lake disappears. There is a little bit of discussion that there used to be crocs at the lake, but this is passed off as tall tales and local legends. Seems odd, but whatever. So, not Bill begins trying to figure out what's going on, and then some hunter guy turns up and there're some teens on the lake in danger and Betty White's not back, but her "sister" is and blah blah fucking blah.

This movie is TERRIBLE. The acting is egregious. I was trying to think of some funny way of saying it, but there is no other word for the performances here. ALL of them. The hunter has the worst Irish (or maybe it was meant to be Scottish?) accent I've ever heard. Dick Van Dyke did a better job at accents, and that's because he didn't even fucking bother, and that was far less annoying. Gags are recycled from the first film, which is the closest Lake Placid 2 comes to being any good. The original dialogue is brimming with lines like "After a while, crocodile", the kind of writing that makes you wish the people that wrote it could be rectally impaled on the writing implement of their choice. The writers behind this movie also seem to have completely missed that Betty White was only pretending to be crazy in the first film, and have made her replacement a full on lunatic and murderer. The language and gore are at a made for TV level, but there is some gratuitous nudity (the only plus in the whole movie) which must've been an "unrated" DVD bonus.

I think I may have let the cat out of the bag in regards to whether the crocs save this movie, but in case you're still wondering, they don't. These crocs ripple the water, are about as stealthy as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and are way too fast on land. The crocs are brought to the screen via shoddy, unlayered CG. You know how old Roger Corman movies would have scenes with water monsters that looked like they were filmed in his bathtub? Meet the CG equivalent. Even Krai Thong's digital reptiles seem okay next to these crocodiles.