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Director: Michael Katleman Starring: Dominic Purcell, Brooke Langton, Orlando Jones, Jurgen Prochnow Screenplay: John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris Country: USA

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Primeval didn't get rave reviews, but part of the problem a lot of people seemed to have was that the film was marketed like it was about a serial killer, when in fact it's about a giant crocodile. Now, any sensible person would be delighted when they went to the theatre to find the movie they were going to see was actually about Gustave the crocodile, so I wasn't paying too much heed to all these write ups by nonsensical reviewers. I will concede that Primeval isn't just a straightforward croc movie, though.

For those sadly uninformed, Gustave is a roughly 6 metre Nile croc known not so much for his size but for his man-eater status. The number of his victims is disputed, as Gustave may have just been feeding on massacred people left in his territory, but most sources I've found credit him in the triple digits. Gustave is naturally feared in his territory, and also naturally worshipped by me.

Primeval begins with a journo who's made a big boo boo being forced to do a story with a woman he doesn't initially like, but who he develops a love interest with quicker than you can say The Jewel of the Nile. The newly formed news crew are sent to Burundi to try and capture Gustave with a Steve Irwin type. Burundi is having a cease fire during the civil war, so the crew are told as long as they stay out of local politics they should be safe. They're not in Africa very long when they find out there's also a warlord called Little Gustave who's very dangerous even if you're on dry land. Unfortunately, the crew end up with both big and little Gustave after them. Wait, did I imply you were safe from the croc on land? Well, actually, Big Gustave seems to fair quite well on land too. This is also based on fact, technically, as Gustave has been known to take people on walking trails, but part of the reason Gustave hunts people in real life is he's so big he's gotten slow. With the land speed Gustave displays in Primeval, he would be able to stalk cheetahs.

Another point of criticism the film drew was that people who knew it was a croc movie didn't like the civil war backdrop. Tough, I say. First of all, it's about time we saw a Nile croc eating people on screen. Second, what's wrong with a movie trying to be entertaining but also presenting legitimate, real life issues? Thirdly, Gustave is awesome, so shut up. However, to be fair, the croc action is very, very silly, and doesn't suit the more serious elements of the story. It's almost like two separate movies, maybe Hotel Burundi and Gustave the ADHD Crocodile, have been stitched together. Most of the effects work to bring Gustave to life is passable, but there are a few bits that are cringe inducing.

I'm not sure how I feel about Gustave's representation in Primeval. Given the backdrop of civil war torn Africa, this may have been a better movie if the croc element was played more realistically. While I'm all for ridiculous monster crocs running amok, it does seem almost out of place here. I won't go so far as to say the people disappointed this movie wasn't what they expected were right, as even a silly croc movie is better than a no croc movie, but Primeval doesn't seem sure of what it wants to be. Even in the more serious parts of the story, stupid, clichéd things and characters pop up, so it's not like Gustave's antics wreck an otherwise masterful piece of cinema.

Another interesting aspect of this movie is that it provoked discussion for some of its racial content. I'm not an overly polite guy, and would put most of this criticism and debate down to uptight, American PC prudes getting all bent out of shape because they think they should be. There is one line in the movie that I would question the intentions behind. It's played as a joke, but there's the potential that it was written by someone looking to absolve ancestral guilt. Earning the film my benefit of the doubt is another line that attacks America's blind eye turn towards the way Africa is being ravaged. This line is perhaps a little too directed, focusing on white America's complacence, but is also a valid, blunt cultural criticism.