Actiongirls.com Volume 3 (2006)
By: Mr Intolerance on December 6, 2007  |  Comments  |  Bookmark and Share
DVD
Actiongirls.com (USA). All Regions, NTSC. 4:3. English DD 2.0. 94 minutes
The Movie
Credits
Director: Scotty JX
Actors: Sylvia Saint, Susana Spears, Sylvie Thomas, Martina Fox, Ashley Robbins, Chantel Williams, Veronica Vanoza, Victoria Roberts, Susan Carter
Writer: Scotty JX
Country: USA
Well apparently Scotty JX must be getting into the whole idea of being a film-maker, rather than just a soft-core pornographer, 'cos this blast of Actiongirls fun is more like a regular movie than the previous two instalments. Well, kind of.

We're still down with the big-titty women with guns and knee high boots, but it would appear that Scotty JX is starting to introduce hitherto unknown dimensions of plot and narrative coherence – but don't be scared off by that, as there are still loads of explosions (more than the previous two titles combined) and loads of full frontal female nudity. Boobs definitely abound in the Actiongirls context. And thank god for them! This is a good thing for the sad lonely bastard like myself – watching these flicks means keepin' the dream alive!

As per usual, we're in a 21st century nightmare post-apocalytptic world where gangs rule, women are used as breeders to produce more gang members and the titular (as in "of the title", you perverts) Actiongirls are a resistance who fight back. Admittedly usually nekkid and greased up, but fighting back nonetheless.

And also as per usual Scotty JX presents us with a coterie of stunners to drool over, marvellous eye-candy who don't have to do anything but look amazing, jiggle their chesticles, gyrate, rub themselves a bit, occasionally masturbate and fire the odd gun or two, unburdened by dialogue or any pretence at acting. There's a kind of follow on from Actiongirls.com Volume 2 (I know! I was as surprised as you!), but I'm pretty certain that you could watch this as a stand-alone without too many problems. Unless of course you're the kind of person who's easily confused by shapes and colours. This isn't Return of the Jedi, people – there's no "Luke, I am your father", plot devices here – this is simply a movie made for those of you who like looking at sexy chicks in knee-high leather boots firing guns. Saying that, at least this film lives up to the title "Actiongirls" – previous instalments were a bit light on in the action department, despite an abundance of girls. Obviously with a bigger budget Scotty JX has been able to spice the series up a bit. Action-wise, this is the best entry in the series yet – previously it's been predominantly chicks rubbing their boobs and unloading a few rounds, usually without an enemy in sight, which was a little dull – this is a much better picture.

Although, I don't know about you, but I don't run about doing archery practice wearing only a pair of chaps (and lucky for you I don't…). Also, it would appear that not all of the ladies here are totally committed to the cause, and seemed to forget about the whole "fighting back" thing, and just roll about up to the second knuckle in the gutted rabbit, so to speak. I'm not saying that's a bad thing per se, but y'see, the first bit of Actiongirls work I saw was Actiongirls: Soldiers of the Dead Part 1 , which actually has a story (of sorts), rather than simply existing as a random collage of gonzo soft-core scenes, intercut with the occasional bit of gunplay. So I kind of like a story, is what I'm saying – porn holds no interest for me. Sure, I like boobs (you should see my collection of Jess Franco films), but I need them to be attached to something (an attractive woman, preferably…) story-wise, otherwise I do (although it pains me to say it) tend to get a bit bored, especially on repeated viewings.

And just quietly, where did the Actiongirls suddenly get access to mortars? The guns and knives I can understand, the artillery…well, not so much – and who the hell trained them? Not wishing to labour a point or anything, but it'd be cool if there was more of a sense of narrative to these films, and not just a loose story punctuated by scenes of sexy chicks wanking. I realise that's not the director's intention, but it'd make these films all the more satisfying, to my mind.

I have the sneaking suspicion that bits of this film were used in Actiongirls: Soldiers of the Dead Part 1 – the scene with the blonde suspended from the rafters being beaten with a stick was very familiar. Okay with the exploitative nature of the film, but let's not repeat ourselves here. Then again, that is off-set by the enforced lesbo 3-way we get served up, so, you can't complain.
Video
About what you'd expect from a direct-to-DVD film. Full-screen sucks.
Audio
Standard stero which is about as stunning as the rest of the series has been – no real dialogue, but we have music, gunfire and explosions. Serviceable would be how I'd describe it.
Extra Features
Trailers for Actiongirls.com Volume 4 (of course I'll be watching it!) and the Actiongirls.com Water and Fitness DVD, which I think I won't bother with, as it appears to be even more plot-free than the rest of 'em,
The Verdict
Well, much the same as the rest of the Actiongirls body of work, really – loads of boobs, more blood than previously, much more action, more female masturbation, too. If that's your bag, dive in. If not, avoid. Me? I enjoyed it for what it was – big dumb fun.
Movie Score
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