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| Siren Visual (Australia). All Region, PAL, 4:3. English DD 2.0, Japanese DD 2.0. English Subtitles. 54 minutes |
| The Movie |
| Cover Art |
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| Credits |
Country: Japan
AKA: Aniyomie; Vanilla Series: My Brother's Wife |
And yet again, badly translated subtitling has saved us: "Someone help me! I can't resist his penis!"
Hentai is an artform that requires a rarefied palate, and one that is obviously more rarefied than mine. Old school anime like Urotsukidoji or Wicked City seemed to require a story, and characters who needed believing in, or at least some form of credibility. These days it just needs fucking. This is hardcore porn in all but name; I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing, but while I can understand someone maybe having a bit of a jizzaster over real people having it off, cartoon images thereof, I'm not so sure about. I certainly have never felt the need to start playing the hardonica while watching cartoons.
The basic idea is that Takashi is jealous of his brother Satoshi, for having married the woman of Takashi's dreams, Miwa, with full knowledge that his brother was thoroughly infatuated with her, and now Takashi wants revenge. Takashi, as it turns out, is a regular sex mo-sheen (as is discovered by one of his teachers – ewww!). Cue loads of animated sucking and fucking. Is there anything noteworthy of plot? Well, things aren't as cut and dried as the brief précis might suggest – Takashi is a terrible bastard when he wants to be, and whenever he gets to exercise any kind of power over a female, he does so with sadistic glee. This is the only interesting aspect of what is otherwise a rather dull, plotless endeavour. We're supposed to sympathise with him, but in doing so, place ourselves in a morally rather questionable place. It's the same kind of dilemma you have while watching the live action nastiness of All Night Long 2: Atrocity, but without the violence, obviously. His antagonistic relationship with classmate Misa is a case in point. He abuses the outcome of the bet he makes with her (whoever wins has the other one as a slave for a week), by making her expose herself in pictures on her mobile phone, for example, and send them to him. And as for his abusive relationship with Miwa… Let's just say he ain't the most likeable character in the world. Matter of fact, given the somewhat forcible approach Takashi adopts with women, I'm totally fuckin' amazed this thing got past the OFLC, even discounting the fact that a number of the people doing the fucking are teens. Cartoon fucking, yes, but teenage sex, nevertheless. Surely this represents a level of hypocrisy we've all come to expect from the OFLC? Ken Park, anyone? I can smell a double standard a mile away…
I don't find these films offensive (it'd be weird if I did, considering if I look directly ahead of me right now, I'm looking at a bookcase containing the collected works of the Marquis de Sade), I just kind of find them…well…dull. I have no problem with porn and I fully understand the need some people have to watch it, just like my need to watch insanely violent films (that's a scary metaphor, now I think about it…). But the idea of a feature film with a paper-thin plot strung together with hard-core sex scenes (hello Erotic Nights of the Living Dead!) interests me about as much as a feature film with a paper-thin plot strung together with meaningless acts of ultra-violence (I'm looking at you, August Underground trilogy). The older and more ornery I get, the more I need a film to have a fuckin' story. I'm not averse to atrocious levels of sex or violence, but I need something to hang my fuckin' hat on, y'know? Random collages of sex and/or violence interest me about as much as wanking with a cheese-grater: not very much. I mean, I've never woken up in the morning and thought to myself, "I need to see a cartoon cock being forcibly inserted into some young chick's blurter!" I'm just not that kind of guy. |
| Video |
| Presented full frame (4:3), the boobs look great, and everything is clear and colorful, but I was rather disturbed by one scene, where Takashi has just sprayed his love-snot all over Misa and it's green! Was homeboy a Vulcan and I didn't realise?! |
| Audio |
| And the sex sounded amazing – uber-squelchy. The English language track doesn't give any subtitles, so certain parts of on-screen Japanese text will be mystifying to those who can't read kanji – and some of them (text messages, in particular) are kind of important to one of the plot strands. |
| Extra Features |
| Well, there was an Animated Art Gallery (read: Slide Show). There were also trailers for Wicked Lessons, Sex Ward and Hot For Teacher (more of the same as you get here, basically), as well as the original trailer for My Brother's Wife. And, oddly enough, outtakes of said film. Outtakes of anime? Basically scenes from the cutting room floor, from the English language version, kind of jokey scenes re-voiced and thrown in for shits and giggles – they're actually kind of funny, but you probably need to watch the film properly first. |
| The Verdict |
You already know if you're going to like this, so my recommendation doesn't really count here, does it? If you're a regular human being who likes to interact with other people, avoid. If you're the sort of person who gets a big rubbery one over this kind of thing, my advice would be to get outside and find a real woman.
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