The XXXorcist (2006)
By: Devon B. on May 21, 2007  |  Comments  |  Bookmark and Share
Burning Angel (USA). All Regions, NTSC. 4:3. English DD 2.0. 47 minutes
The Movie
Director: Doug Sakmann
Starring: Joanna Angel, Tommy Pistol, Kylee Kross, Evan Seinfeld
Screenplay: Doug Sakmann
Music: Hick Nick and Jew of The Dead
Tagline: When the devil is inside, the power of christ cumpels you!
Country: USA
Anyone that has aspirations of being a porn star should probably consider the fate that befell the cast of The XXXorcist. They made the bulk of the film in an extensive one-day shoot, with nearly all of the scenes featuring sex. I don't care how much lube you use, you'd be raw as fuck by the end of that!

The XXXorcist, as you may have guessed from the title, is a humorous pornographic take on The Exorcist. The film begins with the Regan character already possessed (and 18, of course), and a young priest has been summoned to try to cure the scabby faced woman's ailments. After spending, oh, I dunno, a minute trying orthodox methods, the priest decides it's time for a sexorcism, so he will have to fuck the Hell out of Regan. You know that's exactly what Max Von Sydow wanted to do. Maybe that's what all those paedophile priests have really been doing too: rogering the alter boys to save their souls. Anyway, you can just imagine how the notorious crucifix scene from the original turns out here.

The XXXorcist certainly ups the hardcore sex ante over The Exorcist, but it also significantly ups the pea soup factor. Regan does a 360 degree spew like she was some bizarre lawn fixture, and by the end of the film, the whole set's pretty damn green. Think Repossessed meets the Monty Python Mr Creosole sketch and you'll maybe have an idea of the repugnance in store for you. Given the yuck factor, The XXXorcist isn't hugely erotic. When the mother finally gets involved in the shenanigans, she's less heavily made up, so that's a plus, but even then, you'll more than likely be strugglin' to find something to get off to. And even if you do, if you're the kinda person that likes gravy with the meat, if you know what I mean, you'll be pretty disappointed. Not that the priest, played by Tommy Pistol, is a disappointment, he was really very funny and good through the film, but the cum shot is mainly used for a visual gag, though you should keep an eye out for the real thing.

The movie's pretty odd, but where else will you see a possessed girl taunting, "Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, but not as good as me!" Or a priest, with a tattoo (that looks like a chainsaw wielding milkshake, by the way) crying and shouting, "Damn you, Satan!" while getting a blowjob? Or a crucidildo?

The DVD version of the film has three endings, but no matter which you pick, the film will run about 47 minutes. The sad ending is okay, but the happy ending has a really good punch line. The totally fucked up ending isn't really that fucked up, as by far the most disturbing element from that ending is also in the happy ending.

The XXXorcist may not be hugely erotic, unless you have a tendency to get aroused at Skitzo concerts, but as an example of tasteless, tongue in cheek exploitation, this is good value.
The movie's presented at 1.33:1 and was shot on video. The image is clear, but there is some light flicker, some video grain, and some trailing.
The audio is a two-channel mix. The dialogue can be a bit muffled at times, and the score gets annoying. The "Captain Howdy" style voice is also quite grating over extended periods.
Extra Features
This is a two disc special edition, with quite a few features. The main film has four commentaries. I'm generally against that many commentaries, and this DVD did nothing to dissuade that. The first track is star Joanna Angel with two moderators, and is pretty dumb. They just laugh at the film and say stupid things and make bad jokes. They comment on the sad ending version. The second track features Tommy Pistol and executive producer Mitch Fontaine, and is even more pointless. This was a let down, as I found Pistol amusing in the film. They comment on the happy ending version. The third track has writer/producer/editor/director Doug Sakmann and Pat Homily, the DP. No, not that kind of DP, the director of photography. This is much more like a standard commentary, with the usual info and trivia. If you're only going to listen to one of these, make it this one. They watch the sad ending version. The fourth commentary features Cock Kent and Big Tasty, and is just inane. They watch the totally fucked ending version.

Disc two's main feature is a 75 (!) minute making of. It has a few clips from the previous film by this team, Re-Penetrator, but is otherwise pretty uninteresting. There are a few porn outtakes, but they aren't necessarily pleasant, as some real vomiting occurred on set after a deep throating session goes wrong. There are some shorter featurettes as well: one about scoring the film runs for about 11 minutes, and the Tommy Pistol: Uncensored bit gives his full 20 minute interview from the behind the scenes. The most amusing thing to me was a roughly seven minute script rehearsal, but even that wasn't great. There's also a photo gallery; Internet info; and trailers for other Burning Angel films, such as Re-Penetrator, but not The XXXorcist's.

The reason this is a two disc set is because the alternate endings on the main film are not done with a branching function, but rather each version of the film gets its own title on the disc.

Ultimately, the only worthwhile extra on a porn DVD would be more porn, and in this, The XXXorcist is sadly lacking. Perhaps others will enjoy the extras more than me, but I would've been fine with a single disc edition…and even then, would've preferred three less commentaries.

There are also a few Easter eggs. On disc one, go into the audio options and highlight "No commentary." Press left to see Joanna Angel talking about her mother's confusion about costumes in porno. In the final chapter selection, press left on "Back to main' to see a guy lighting fireworks in his hand.

On disc two, go to the Demonic Extras menu, and highlight "Back to main." Press left to see a POV behind the scenes, which naturally riffs on POV porn as well. In the trailers menu, press left from "Back to main" to see Cock Kent visiting the set. There is one other egg that I was only able to get to work by setting the disc to play title 13, and that was some guy named Tornado Jack being branded.
The Verdict
While I wasn't enthralled with the DVD package, I can't say I fault Burning Angel for including extras, they just weren't anything I cared about. The film itself is a spewing spectacular, getting very green by the end. Not since Hardgore have I found a film this outrageous, and that in itself makes the DVD worth getting.
Movie Score
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