Cover Art

Credits

Director: Jon McBride Starring: Kim Bailey, Tom Casiello, Denice Edeal, Jon McBride, Patricia McBride, Screenplay: Jon McBride Music: Tony Diliberti, Michael O'Keefe, David Toy Tagline: How much flesh would a Woodchipper chip, if a Woodchipper could chip flesh? Country: USA

But really, I'll have a go at a new tagline. What about: How much shit could a movie suck if a movie could suck shit?

When their father leaves on a work-related trip, his three abominations, squawky Denice, big-headed, bespectacled Tommy and geeky John are left in the care of their self-righteous Aunt Tess. But when Tess decides a hunting knife that little Tommy has received in the post is not something appropriate for a little brat, a tussle ensues and poor Aunt Tess is accidentally skewered on the kitchen floor. Worried they will get in trouble, the dumb-assed trio decide to carve up the body, freeze the parts then grind up the offal in ye olde woodchipper. But when their sleazy cousin comes looking for his mama they realise that another body might have to be fed through the woodchipper to cover their tracks.

After receiving a level of cult notoriety for his gut-munching Cannibal Campout, John (or Jon depending on which source you choose to adopt) McBride picked up his video camera again, pointed it in the direction of his family and friends - who seemingly lack any dignity whatsoever - and gave them a godawful script, then yelled action.

Shouting their lines as if they were all deaf, Denice, Tommy, John, Aunt Tess and later cousin Kim are possibly the most irritating characters ever committed to video tape. Denice has a voice as about endearing as cat claws sliding down a chalkboard, while Tommy has a smart-alecky manner that makes you want to pick up his scrawny, over-sized red-headed body and push it face first into the woodchipper. John is about as effectual as a kick in the nuts and Aunt Tess (John McBride's mother, Patricia McBride) is thoughtfully redeemed when her body parts are ground into splintery bits. Oh…and Cousin Kim. He spits when he talks and you just know he has skid marks in his boxer shorts.

The point-and-shoot camera angles, press-pause-on-the-camera editing and overly long fade-outs are true bargain-basement stuff. But as diabolical as the film sounds, it does have a smirky, redneck quality that will raise a chuckle in those amused by intellectually challenged people who crap their pants in public and clap and speak at the same time.

Making of documentary – Into the Chipper (13:32) - In this mini-doco made in 2006, the original cast members are tracked down and given their day in the sun. Ironically, Denice Edeal is studying for her Masters degree in Speech and Language Pathology and has had no roles since playing the vocally challenged Denice. It's great to see Tom Casiello has grown into his head and is currently a scriptwriter. He even scored an Emmy for Outstanding Writer for the daytime soap As the World Turns in 2002. Perren Page (Generic father) explains the story was born out of a real incident in Newtown, Connecticut where an airline pilot killed his wife and disposed of her body via a woodchipper. We even get to meet a strange horror fan who bought the original VHS of Woodchipper and claimed it to be the best low budget film he had ever seen.

Jon McBride interview with Video Bob Moseley (12:54) - According to McBride most of the $400 budget was spent on the cost of renting the woodchipper for the weekend. However, most of what he has to say we've already heard in the commentary track. McBride seems like such a genuine guy, in a preppy schoolboy kind of way, I think I'll dub him the Ed Wood of kitchen-sink horror.

Stills gallery (4:15) - A plethora of behind-the-scenes and publicity stills streamed over the title track.