Cover Art

Credits

Director: Anne Goursaud Starring: Alyssa Milano, Martin Kemp, Charlotte Lewis, Rachel True, Jennifer Tilly Screenplay: Rick Bitzelberger, Nicole Coady, Halle Eaton Music: Joseph Williams Tagline: The innocence is over. Country: USA AKA: The Nosferatu Diaries: Embrace of the Vampire

Flash forward a couple hundred years or so (centuries that Kemp has spent tyring to figure out how the three vamps managed to get silicone implants in the time of nobles and peasants, no doubt), and Kemp has found a reincarnate of his "virgin," Alyssa Milano. He must get her to love him within three days or he dusts to dusts it, but instead of telling her just how much he knows is true, he whines and pontificates over her. Within 10 minutes you'll be wishing for a modern Van Helsing to show up and put a stop to the vampire monologues. Anyway, Kemp begins to affect a change on his reincarnated love, who is innocent and pure in this lifetime, too.

The very lame, clichéd script focuses on college life and sex, and isn't really brought vibrancy by the drab performances or silly scenes with vampires trying real hard to look like they can bite people through nets. It's a very blah blah blah vampire movie that parades around 2-D characters with vague and possibly incongruent motivations. For example, if Kemp wants this pure girl, why does he turn her into a mean snot? Jennifer Tilly also pops in to ham up the screen, so if you're some sorry Jennifer Tilly completist…you've probably already seen this.

Of course, this movie could be about a vampire who has narcolepsy that gets trigged whenever he sees moonlight and the film still would've earned some notoriety for being the first flick to feature Alyssa Milano nude. She doesn't waste any time, getting into the buff by her second scene. She's repeatedly nude, with great care taken to work in scenes where she can undress, including a completely unexplained boudoir photo shoot where this "repressed" girl needs very little coaxing to get nekkid. Four stars!