Python II (2002)
By: Devon B. on September 26, 2006  |  Comments  |  Bookmark and Share
20th Century Fox (USA). Region 1, NTSC. 1.78:1 (16:9 enhanced). English DD 5.1, English DD 2.0. English, Spanish Subtitles. 89 minutes
The Movie
Director: L.A. McConnell
Starring: Billy Zabka, Dana Ashbrook, Alex Jolig, Simmone Jade MacKinnon, Marcus Aurelius
Screenplay: Jeff Rank
Country: USA
Evidently, someone was curious about the origins of the snake in Python, because Python II dutifully explains where that snake came from. Unfortunately, it looks like we're gonna have to wait for Python III to understand any information related to the snakes in this particular instalment.

The Russian and American military set out to catch a big snakey; another serpent that growls, but this one also groans and screams. I'm not sure how this snake ended up in Russia, but it did. The terrible CG plane (an apparent standard in giant snake movies) gets shot down, then some people foolishly open the snake's container. Unaware that the snake is free, Sheriff Johnny from Python shows up and hires a transporter and his Russian wife to collect something, but they're not told what. The transporter's suspicions are first aroused when he sees some people that are part of the team he's joined, and thinks they're too big to be movers (!???).

It really has to be stressed that it is Sheriff Johnny from the first movie, because character wise he's become such a jerk that you'd never know. Maybe the filmmakers were saying the FBI corrupts people that have redeemed themselves just prior to entering their ranks? Anywho, the transporter and his wife share some crappy scene about letting the past go, and then they're off to do their job. When they get to the facility where the snake is, they quickly learn it's out…and that there's not just one.

Lacking the pacing and humour of its predecessor, Python II drags along, wallowing in silliness. I assume the "foreign" members of the team were Russian…but they can't read Russian. Maybe they were illiterate? I don't know, but that's silly. One of the centre's name acronyms to RAMJO, and that's very silly. Even sillier is that all the foreigners talk in English.

The silliest things of all are the snakes themselves, which take about 40 minutes to even really get to work. First of all, where the hell did the extra snakes come from? Was the first one pregnant and gave birth during the bad CG plane transportation? And if so, how'd the babies fit in the container with the mother? And even if they did fit, how the hell'd they get so large so quickly? These snakes bite their prey and let go, and their CGI elements are STILL not fully merged with the background image. The snakes are often portrayed via slow motion, fragmented CGI, attempting to create a motion blur, I guess. I also assume this was cheaper than smooth animation, 'cause it sure as fuck couldn't have been for style. But at least we get the greatest giant snake squeeze scene of all time…no, wait, this one creates a new genre of silly.

Watch for the magic rain that rains and then not rains then rains again during a single conversation, and also for the wimpiest grenade throw of all time.
The DVD presents Python II at 1.78:1 and while the transfer isn't great, it isn't too bad either. There can be an almost hazy quality to the image, and the blacks can get a bit murky. There are a few specks, but not too many, and they're only distracting in a couple of places.
While the print and movie might not be stellar, the 5.1 Dolby Digital track is quiet nice. The sound is cleanly mixed, with dialogue remaining clear throughout. The surround capabilities are used pretty extensively, and the snake growls sound enormous. There's also a 2.0 track, but I didn't preview it.
Extra Features
The movie is supplemented by the trailer, a small photo gallery, filmographies for the cast and director, and the trailers for the prequel and Venomous. All three trailers use the same snake coiling background. How silly is that?
The Verdict
It may be a big monster movie, but I think there's better ways to spend your time and money. Python II's right down there with the movie that started this whole straight-to-video big snake subgenre, Anaconda.
Movie Score
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