| Cover Art |
 |
| Credits |
Director: Richard
Clabaugh
Starring: Casper Van
Dien, Robert Englund, William Zabka, Dana Barron,
Wil Wheaton, Jenny McCarthy
Screenplay: Chris Neal,
Gary Hershberger, Paul J.M. Bogh
Music: Daniel J. Nielsen
Tagline: Sixty Feet
of Pure Terror!
Country: USA |
What's up with the bad CGI plane crashes
in these giant snake movies? Maybe instead of showing
these planes crashing, the director should just
have actors explain what's happened? I'd
much rather hear a story than see another goddamn
computer generated plane. If I want videogame graphics,
I will play a videogame, dammit!!!
In Python, a giant snake (I'm
not sure where it came from or how it ended up
in captivity) is on a plane that crashes. It's
a hybrid snake, similar to the snake in King
Kobra, with the remarkable ability to
survive fiery plane wrecks. The snake eats a few
people, and some different people try to kill
it.
What's really scary in Python isn't the snake, it's Robert Englund
once again trying to act. He gets called in by
the guy who played Johnny in Starship
Troopers (Casper Van Dien) when the reptile
moves in on a town full of the usual group of
people prone to do stupid things while in danger.
Oh, the marvellous performances as Johnny and
Freddy play off each other. The sheriff of the
town in danger is played by Johnny from The
Karate Kid. Hmmm…pattern? I thought
Sheriff Johnny looked a lot older than those presented
as his peers. My suspicions were confirmed when
Sheriff Johnny got in a fight with one of them
who obviously wasn't even old enough to
have learned from Ralph Macchio (Johnny in The
Outsiders) to just crane kick Sheriff
Johnny's sorry ass.
There is some good humour in Python,
like an attempt to fight off the snake with shampoo.
The movie does get a bit slow at times, but the
intentional humour was much better than I anticipated,
and helped make a bad movie more enjoyable.
Hammy performances are aplenty, and those that
aren't hammy are generally just bad. Some
familiar faces can be seen, along with those mentioned
prior. Also on hand are Jenny McCarthy, who's
no doubt had many johns, and a pink/purple haired
Wil Wheaton, who was no doubt one of them.
The actual CGI snake isn't too bad, but
it hasn't been merged in properly with the
other film elements, so it often looks like a
bad blue screen effect. We do get more strange
snake noises, more strange snake behaviour, more
strange snake movements, and more wishing that
the snake would get to certain cast members quicker
(though McCarthy is thankfully short lived). |
