Electric Zombies (2005)
By: Devon B. on September 8, 2006  |  Comments  |  Bookmark and Share
Terror Vision (USA). All Regions, NTSC. 4:3. English DD 2.0. 91 minutes
The Movie
Director: John Specht
Starring: Paul Wendell, Jonas Moses, Nicole Ashmore, Jennifer Baggett
Screenplay: John Specht
Country: USA
It's electric! Boogie woogie, woogie.

I have some problems with the title of Electric Zombies. When I hear the word "electric," I think of things generating or using electricity. Electric eels. Electric chair. Electric razor. The idea of an electric zombie sounds like undead people who shoot bolts of lighting at their victims, or who send 10,000 volts through anyone that comes into contact with them. I was most disappointed to learn that in Electric Zombies, the electricity involved is that of a mobile phone, and that's it. I also find the word "zombie" unfitting in this case. I guess it COULD be argued that the people who answer the phones lose their soul or sense of self, but I still think a zombie should be a walking corpse. No, this movie is poorly titled, thus I rechristen it with a much more accurate name: Mobile Phone Hypnotisees. I realise I had to make up a word to come up with that title, but I think it's much more suiting even if it is 1/3 gibberish.

Anyway, another problem with the word "electric" is it implies speed, and Mobile Phone Hypnotisees is anything but quick. I knew I was in for trouble when I saw that the film was shot on video and ran over 90 minutes. This is rarely a good sign. You low budget filmmakers using a fucking camcorder need to stop thinking we want to watch your home movies for 90 fucking minutes!

As expected, the plot of Mobile Phone Hypnotisees does not warrant 90 minutes, and may not even warrant 30. A batch of top secret mobile phone technology makes people go crazy and commit wanton acts of violence on themselves and others. That's your story in one sentence, but it's not given that straight in the film. Oh, no, I had to wade through 90 minutes (!) of boring conspiracy set up and corrupt cops at work. Like some fucking low level crime drama, the movie plods along, until, finally, over a half hour in, something really happens. But by then, I just didn't care.

The acting varies, but none of it is very good, and most is grimace inducing, including the least convincing screen cop of all time. The editing for action scenes is shit, particularly in a hammer murder sequence. The climax is like a half ass…no, a no ass retread of Reservoir Dogs, and the only thing of note in the whole movie is a bit of penile fallout.
Mobile Phone Hypnotisees is presented at 1.33:1. The film has video grain, and in the dark scenes, it's REALLY heavy. The overbright scenes look very cheap and bad, and the lighting in general is quite poor.
The audio is a two-channel track. The dialogue is way too quiet, but this is probably a fault with the source material, not the transfer. It requires effort to hear and understand the dialogue, and there's not much reward for straining to pay attention. There is distortion, and the sound levels fluctuate. For example, one rap song which sounded like it had some lower decibel bass had the bass quiet, but another rap song had the bass so loud it was shaking my walls.
Extra Features
A weblink. Whoopdy fuckin' doo.
The Verdict
Mobile Phone Hypnotisees is mind numbingly dull, with no real plot to speak of. It's so bad, I don't even want to make fun of it, I just want it to go away.
Movie Score
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