Jesus Christ Serial Rapist (2004)
By: Devon B. on May 26, 2006  |  Comments  |  Bookmark and Share
Grimoire (USA). All Regions, NTSC. 4:3. English DD 2.0. 71 minutes
The Movie
Director: Bill Zebub
Starring: Alexandra Voskoboynikov, Roco Martone III, Bill Zebub, Freddie Dingo, Kerri Taylor, Michael M. Herrmann, Debbie Dee, Yelena Sobolevska,
Mallery Marshall, Niki Notarile
Screenplay: Bill Zebub
Country: USA
Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist is also available in a retitled version as Into Thy Hands for the more squeamish dealers. Changing the title wrecks the one good thing about the film. The actual film and DVD menu use the Into Thy Hands title, so obviously no one wanted to press two different discs.

Bill Zebub, the man behind the Grand Grimoire of Exalted Deeds magazine, is the writer, editor, director, producer, and titular character. The movie opens with nude torture/crucifixion photos and art. As Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist starts, so does the soundtrack, comprised of black metal, death metal, and that stuff in between, which I guess would be bleath metal. Or maybe dack metal. A woman comes home to find her partner nailed to the wall. Out from under the bed leaps Bill Zebub, who strips her, despite her, oh, so very violent protests, and sets up some sacrifice. No real nudity is on display here, and not much happens despite all that stuff I just said. The bleath metal is still playing, making this whole scenario seems like a video clip. Then Zebub goes to a bar, and gets a woman off the toilet and does something similar. At least the second girl shows some skin. Okay, some of her naughty bits skin. She's also very passive during her attack…as are all the women.

Okay, so what's going on? Well, according to the sleeve, Zebub is playing a schizophrenic who thinks he's the reincarnation of Jesus. 'Jesus' is going around taking vengeance on reincarnations of those who wronged him, like Judas, but 'when the girlfriend of a victim shows up during a murder, the schizophrenic then decides that it is far more satisfying to torture, rape, and kill the women of his enemies.' It's a good thing that synopsis is on the back of the DVD sleeve, because there's NO WAY to get that from the film as there's NO DIALOUGE, just bleath metal. Bleath, bleath, bleath.

Now, I like some metal. I prefer the black to death, and didn't mind any of the songs on the soundtrack, but this movie is more like a Necrophagia DVD than an actual movie. Except, Necrophagia DVDs are better! The songs played don't seem to correlate to what's happening on screen, so you could probably just pick the metal CD of your choice to play over the movie, and get a similar effect. What we end up with on the DVD is a soundtrack with no real film, which is a shame because the idea behind the movie could've made for the sleaziest, most offensive movie ever. For that to happen, though, people would have to be able to tell what is going on! Within the film, the only clues to the plot are the crossing off of names on an enemies list; an online chat sequence; and the credits, which list the characters by their religious names. I know the viewer often doesn't know what's going on in an art house film, but I don't like those either. And, if you call your movie Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist, is your target audience really the sort of knob head that likes incoherent movies about the translucence of being and the non-entity of existence?

All that the viewer gets here is scene after scene of women being bound; raped; killed; and, in one bit, crucified, often in annoying slow motion. The gore is limited and very shoddy. If you've always wanted to see a marriage of Violent Shit, minus the gore, with a lame softcore bondage flick, it's time to rejoice. All others, avoid.

For more information about the film's background, which is far more interesting than the film itself, go to here.
Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist is shot on video, and the image has video grain. The picture is a bit blurry, and can lose definition in the darker colours.
I had the audio set to '1' (literally) and at times the score'd be too loud. I'd hate to hear this heavy metal soundtrack at '11.' If you don't like the styles of metal mentioned above, you should probably watch the film silent. That is, if you're retarded and didn't gather this is one to skip from the rest of the review.
Extra Features
The extras are all presented together in a 'play all' fashion. The extras start with art of a naked woman being raped and crucified musically set to…go on, have a guess what. I think some of these pictures may have been in the opening of the actual film, but couldn't bring myself to go back and check. The art segues into ads for a website to see naked, crucified women, and the bleath metal continues. Some trailers start after that, for Zebub's Kill The Scream Queen; The Crucifier; and The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made, one of those 'humorous' attempts at sending up bad film making. At least the last one appears to have dialogue, but then Zebub's website mentions that Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist has no dialogue, which makes it seem like the odd film out. I'm still not taking any chances with any of the others. Anyway, I suppose the main bonus on hand is the last one, which is footage from an earlier version of Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist. The metal, taking a pause during Worst Horror Movie's trailer, returns, backing footage of three topless, bound women trying not to laugh and then another scene of a woman tied up in a gym area.
The Verdict
Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist is utterly worthless as a film, but it does score one little Australia for the title. I'll be keeping my copy, just so I can see that title when I'm passing over this DVD for something worth viewing. I guess I only need the sleeve for this. So if you know someone that can hook you up with just the cover, do that.
Movie Score
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