Now before I get into this review, I have to
say that I had really high expectations for Godzilla:
Final Wars. For those who pay attention
to the bits and pieces that come from Japan regarding
these films, you'll know there was a huge
amount of pre-release hype surrounding this one.
It, even as the trailer states, is the end of
Godzilla. On his fiftieth anniversary, Godzilla
bows out of the world of cinema in a film directed
by Ryuhei Kitamura (Versus, Azumi).
My expectations were huge.
For some reason, I had it very clear in my head
that, with this being the last of the Godzilla
films, the big guy was to die by the time this
film ended. I'm pretty sure I'd read
on a number of sites in the pre-hype, that Godzilla
would bite the dust (hence the title). Now if
anyone else here was under the same impression
I'm going to say it straight up; Godzilla
does not die in this film. If that's what
you're hanging out to see in this then just
pass it on, because it doesn't happen. This
film is in fact the final Godzilla film in the
Millennium series (starting at Godzilla
2000, including everything after, except
Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant
Monsters All-Out Attack!), due largely
to declining box office sales, and that there
will likely be another Godzilla movie in a decade's
time. If you can deal with the aforementioned
revelation then you've got nothing to really
worry about.
Now, because of my expectations, the film felt
like a huge waste of time for me, but I'm
positive that if I hadn't been under the
impressions I was before I saw it, my outlook
would be drastically different. However, there
are some things that would have appeared in both
reviews, regardless of what my feelings towards
Final Wars were prior to viewing. The first problem
I had with Final Wars was that even though it
has such a huge cast of monsters, the screen time
most of the creatures are given is minimal. I
had expected with 14 monsters (Godzilla, Mothra,
Anguiras, Ebira, Kumonga, Hedorah, King Caesar,
Gigan, Rodan, Kamacuras, Manda, Minya/Minilla,
Monster X, Keiser Ghidora, and Zilla) that it
would be a tour de force of rampaging monster
battles (and would have done so from either viewpoint).
Not so. Large amounts of the film revolve around
the M-Organization; an elite task force of mutants
(basically hyper powered humans – less exciting
versions of the X-Men) who deal with giant monster
attacks, and the American Colonel Gordon (who
feels like a G.I. Joe reject), as they face an
invasion from the Xillians; fish-men disguised
as trendy Japanese people. Actually, HUGE amounts
of the film revolve around this. Essentially,
it's like a sci-fi epic in the same vein
as The Matrix with Godzilla sequences
dropped at each end and sparsely through the middle.
The second huge problem stems from the first.
The monster fights are ridiculously lacklustre.
You'd think, if it was going to be Godzilla's
last movie for a long time (or that they were
going to kill him) that the battles would be epic,
that they'd leave all that came before them
for dead, especially with Kitamura directing.
Again, this wasn't to be. The big fights
all happen between the humans. It's a wire
works and crazy stunts bonanza for them, I can
only recall two vaguely impressive fight sequences,
one between Godzilla and the three worst monsters
of the film, and the fight with Ghidorah (simply
because it's such a technically stupid design
to pull of well – which is achieved reasonably
here). The rest, even if compiled together, would
have barely filled a music video for the Sum 41
song they're set to. It is kind of cool
to see the American Godzilla (Zilla) get his arse
kicked by the original, but again, I expected
more, and the fight involving Hedorah (a monster
not seen since the campy 70's run and a
monster I was looking forward to seeing updated)
was the biggest cop out of the lot.
There are some huge plot holes and moments of
ludicrous convenience (such as the return of the
Secretary General), all smattered with terrible
acting. I realise it's harder to tell when
there's a language barrier, but there are
a lot of moments in this where you can just see,
straight out, that the actors are terrible (the
villain, the woman playing the Japanese Prime
Minister are both awesome examples). Any English
speaking actor in these films should also paint
targets on their bodies, because they stand out
like sore thumbs every single one of them flat
out suck and will likely never get work as actors
in their homelands. Even the bizarre moments where
the Japanese actors decide to say lines in English
are delivered better than the Western actors!
On a final note regarding the film itself, I
really can't come at why the human race
relies on such impractically designed military
technology. The 'flying drill-bit submarines'
are the last thing I would want to get into to
fight a giant monster. Where were the Mechas?
If they could build things like Mechagodzilla,
why are they relying on these terrible flying
submarines?! |
