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Dracula 3000 (2004)
By: J.R. McNamara on March 25, 2009. Share Share  CommentsComments (0)
DVD
Eagle Entertainment (Australia). Region 4, PAL. 1.77:1 (16:9 enhanced). English DD 2.0. 83 minutes
The Movie
Cover Art
Credits
Director: Darrell James Roodt
Starring:Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio, Alexandra Kamp, Tiny Lister Jr, Udo Kier
Screenplay: Ivan Milborrow, Darrell James Roodt
Country: South Africa/Germany
When you hire or purchase a DVD with out seeing the film first, you take a few risks, but luckily, distribution companies put some hidden warnings on the cover, you just have to know how to find them. Dracula 3000 is an excellent example of some of these subliminal warnings that are put on these covers. Here is one: the film is called Dracula 3000: Infinite Darkness and has the catch cry of 'In Space, The Sun Never Rises'. No, it doesn't, but the warning here is that Dracula is in space. Did you get that, Dracula…in SPACE, on a spaceship. Then we look at the cast and immediately there are a few warnings: Casper Van Dien, Ericka Eliniak and Coolio, far enough if Eleniak is doing 'topless' it is a plus, but not here, here she relies on acting ability and tight pants. The slick also contains this blurb 'From the producers of 'Boat Trip', 'Barely Legal', Dumb and Dumber' which I think speaks for itself. The director/ co-writer Darrell James Roodt is also known for the Patrick Swayze vehicle Father Hood, and his co-writer, Ivan Millborrow is previously known for being a boom operator on such cinematic classics as From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter and Lunarcop. The best warning of all is if there is any sort of mis-spelling on the cover, and in this case, the indicia on the back cover states the film is called 'Dracular 300: Infinite Darkness'.

Ok, now prepare to start rolling your eyes at every part of this plot synopsis. 50 years ago, the space ship Demeter (called the Diameter on the back of the box) had an unspeakable evil descend upon it and kill its entire crew. The captain of the ship (Udo Keir) recorded a warning to whoever may come aboard the ship.

Flash forward to now, 2997, where deep-space salvage ship Mother III's Captain Abraham Van Helsing (Casper Van Dien), and his motley crew: Arthur Holmwood a.k.a. The Professor (Grant Swanby), Navigator Mina Murray (Alexandra Kamp ), Cargo Specialists Humvee (Tiny Lister) and his stoner sidekick 187 (Coolio) and his vice captain (Vice Captain, are they in High School?) Aurora Ash (Ericka Eliniak) have found the ship floating in the Carpathian galaxy, headed towards Earth. On board is a cargo of 50 coffins, but for what purpose, and who is the terrifying Count Orlock (Langley Kirkwood)…

This film could have been excellent, if it had just had a different storyline and script. Basically, this film is a light-hearted parody of Alien, with vampires instead of xenomorphs. All I can say is the cast were either hungry or owed a project on their contracts.
Video
This is 16x9 anamorphic widescreen, but still, at times, looks like it was shot on home video.
Audio
Dolby Digital AC3 Stereo that is unfortunately pretty clear, so every piece on contrived dialogue is audible.
Extra Features
There are trailers for 5 movies on this disc: Dracula 3000, Pit Fighter, Menace, The Purifiers and The Hollow.
The Verdict
Awkwardly directed, with a terrible storyline, badly acted, with sub-standard costuming and the occasionally addequate space ship effect, Dracula 3000 is horrible, and if not for Erika Eliniak being excellent eye candy, there would be no reason to watch it. The one star is just for Udo Keir's pedestrian appearance.
The Rating

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