Sickle (2005)
By: Michael Helms on August 18, 2005  |  Comments  |  Bookmark and Share
DVD
Peacock Films (Australia). Region 4, PAL. 4:3. English 2.0. 91 minutes
The Movie
Credits
Director: Paul Gagné
Starring: Paul Cagney, Shaila Vaidya, Maurizio Farhad, Stacey Denson, Vaedynn Orland
Screenplay: Paul Gagne'
Music: Robert Greiert
Tagline:Blood Will Flow
Country: USA
AKA: The Slaughterhouse Massacre
A weak electronic heartbeat tries to pound on the soundtrack as blood dripping titles throw up the names of cast members you've never heard of. They are names you know you'll never see again and what's really strange is that you haven't even seen the faces they belong too.

An intertitle tells us we're in Allen, Texas circa 1993. A gal who was obviously enticed out of the nearest strip club to be in a fillum leads another actor (male) towards a slaughterhouse to have sex (as you do in Allen, Texas...). The steamed up gal bites her man and starts to masturbate and they're not even through the door. Inside there's a guy hanging up chicken bodies as he chops them up. At the sight of the chicken carcasses the gal gets really turned on and immediately wants to fuck on the cold concrete floor next to the chicken electrocution bath. The sound of thunder rings out and a shadow appears in the corridor. Our gal is already naked and right into it as she places her now dirty butt on her man's crotch. As he thrusts she looks up and screams.

Cut to Dallas College in the present day and a class presided over by a third rate Paul Bartel impersonator. While one gal comes onto the teacher from her desk and a jealous classmate calls her a slut the word is spread that there's a party tonight. A drinking contest is going down inside while obvious real life compatriots of our heroine from the opening scene put on a lesbian show in the back yard disgusting one dark haired female party goer who storms off to bust a guy wanking in the bathroom. A group form and begin to discuss the fact that it's the 10th anniversary of the Sickle killings. Legend has it that Marty Sickle, diligent slaughterhouse worker was lynched for committing a rape murder. This is the cue for a flashback that adds some gory detail to the opening sequence including Marty putting a sickle in a guy's back but it getting stuck. Back in the present the legend is also expanded to include the story that if you go to the death house and repeat a rhyme three times, Marty's spirit will return from beyond the grave. Naturally, two couples, and a stoner who tags along behind, decide to go out to the old slaughterhouse and do some myth busting. Reciting the rhyme by a spirit does indeed turn up. The mayhem includes a crotch stabbing followed by a poorly rendered body splitting and even worse comic line, a slightly better body halving, rolling heads, and chalk outline sex.
Video
Even if Sickle wasn't shot on tape it looks like it; analogue tape at that, and with less than minimal lighting and the bottom of a dirty beer bottle for a camera lens.
Audio
Poorly recorded and processed sound at best.
Extra Features
None.
The Verdict
A few blatant idea thefts combined with rudimentary knowledge of one aspect of the modern abattoir and a camcorder don't add up here to filmmaking that can be consumed on any level, even if the producers did get a sale, their most amazing achievement with Sickle. Shelf filler of the lowest order to be avoided at all costs.
Movie Score
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