Eternal Evil (1987)
By: Drexl on December 10, 2004  |  Comments  |  Bookmark and Share
DVD
Force Entertainment (Australia). All Regions, PAL. 4:3. English 2.0. 85 minutes
The Movie
Credits
Director: George Mihalka
Starring: Andrew Bednarski, Karen Black, Winston Rekert
Screenplay: Robert Geoffrion
Music:Marvin Dolgay
Tagline: 'Horror Can Live Forever'
Country: USA
AKA: The Blue Man
Take a good, long look at the names of the people involved in the creation of this movie - the writer, the director and the composer. Commit their names to memory. Have them tattooed somewhere on your person if your memory is a little shaky, but don't ever forget these names. Make yourself a promise to avoid anything featuring the dubious 'talents' of these people. Trust me - it's a wise move. I've seen some crap in my time but this cinematic shambles is simply scraping the bottom of the barrel. This nonsense didn't cost me a cent but I still feel hard done by. I want those 85 minutes of my life back. Now. So I can invest the time in something more worthwhile - maybe sling some paint on the wall and watch it dry or similar. It would be gripping entertainment by comparison.

Paul Sharpe is a TV commercial director who longs for something more rewarding in his professional life. He used to make movies but his career has nose-dived into the world of diaper ads (prophetic perhaps?) His home life isn't going to well either so he checks in with his local shrink, hopefully to sort himself out, so to speak. Err, what else. Oh yeah. Paul has an interest in Astral Projection - inspired by 'a mysterious dancer named Janus' (that's how the cover blurb describes her.) Pretty soon, weird stuff starts to happen: people start dying, Paul's son starts acting strange, cops show up to try and solve the mystery - they care, we don't. End of plot.

I've already spilled the beans on my opinion of this film in the first paragraph and there isn't much else to add. I suppose that this part of the review is the part where the good bits and the bad bits of the film are pointed out. Fair enough: good bits - none, bad bits - all. There you have it. The performances are dull and uninteresting. God only knows what Karen Black was thinking, she must have had a mortgage payment due or something. The direction is utterly pedestrian with an opening crane shot that will have Argento fans either howling with laughter or crying in pity. The death/murder scenes are some of the worst ever commited to film and the script, pacing and score are equally dire. Through sheer kindness I have managed to find something decent to say about this release - the disc itself was pretty useful since it managed to help me avoid getting coffee stains on my nice new dining table plus the box was good as well - that table in my kitchen that used to wobble, wobbles no more. Well, at least I tried. My conscience is clear.
Video
This dog of a movie gets an appropriate transfer in the form of this lame, pan-and-scanned atrocity. Overly dark, lacking in detail and soft. The p+s job has at least done us the small mercy of removing some of this fiasco from our screens.
Audio
A decent enough stereo track although it may be considered a little on the quite side, which is good I guess - at least it won't wake you up again after the first 15 minutes of this flick has sent you to sleep.
Extra Features
A box and a cover. What? They don't count? OK. It has chapter selection. Thrilling fun in comparison (press the buttons and watch the little coloured box move around the screen - it's addictive) but that's your lot.
The Verdict
Avoid.
Movie Score
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