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| Universe Laser and Video Co LTD (Hong Kong). Region 3, NTSC. 4:3. English DD 2.0 Chinese Subtitles. 94 mins |
| The Movie |
| Cover Art |
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| Credits |
Director: Anthony Hickox
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Danielle Brett, Richard Fitzpatrick, Kristi Angus, Charles Seixas, Sandi Ross, Greg Ellwand, Susan Kottman, Victor Pedtrchenko, Kylie Bax, Bruce McFee, Kathryn Albertson
Screenplay: Kevin Bernhardt, Gareth Wardell
Tagline: Imagine if Jack the Ripper had a sister...
AKA: Jill Rips; Jill The Ripper |
When his brother is brutally murdered, ex-policemen
and former boxer Dolph Lundgren hits the vengeance
trail and launches his own unorthodox investigation.
Sinking ever deeper into a mysterious underground
of political intrigue and illicit affairs, he's
soon beginning to lose his objectivity, finding
himself inexorably drawn into the world of hardcore
S&M, a dominion of bondage and sexual violence.
As a slew of other men turn up dead by over enthusiastic
bondage like so many Tory politicians, Dolph's
obsession with finding the killer mounts and the
more he infiltrates, the more the web of
corruption and deceit begins to close in around
him.
Lundgren, the talent-challenged hunk, one of
few players in the annals of bad movie-making
to match the acting (in)ability of Chuck "The
Walking Wardrobe" Norris sleepwalks through
this absolute mess of a film, brooding, scowling
and mumbling drunkenly through an appalling performance
that carries all the emotiveness of an uprooted
fencepost. Supporting 'acting', and I use the
word advisedly resembles that of a school play,
whilst the script is a (bad) joke. Hickox, directing
at the technical level of bad pornography aims
for mood, occasionally throwing in a mediocre
attempt at gimmicky sensationalism, but only achieves
emotionally deadened, mind-numbing tedium. Hickox
has made some awful films in his time, Waxworks, Waxworks II: Lost in Time, Warlock:
The Armageddon, Full Eclipse and Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat were abysmal,
and Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth mundane,
but he's surpassed himself with this incoherent
cliché ridden jumble. Based on the lukewarm novel
by Fredrick Lindsay, Tied Up aka: Jill
Rips doesn't even aspire to the level of a
poor B-movie. |
| Video |
| This is an appalling Pan & Scam transfer,
one of the worst telecine efforts I've seen since
the early days of VHS. A real point & click
hack job which sees characters regularly out of
frame as they speak, whilst the camera stares resolutely
at the unpopulated centre part of the screen. Colours
are muted and lacking in vibrancy, whites bloom,
the overall image is opaque and soft, there is heavy
grain and fleshtones resemble sunburn. The picture
is lacking in stability and compression artefacts
are noticeable. To match one of the worst films
I have ever seen, one of the worst DVD transfers
I have ever seen. Come back Diamond, all is forgiven!
The Region 1 at least boasts an anamorphic, 1.85:1
widescreen transfer, which retains the framing of
images correctly (for what it's worth in this farrago).
The R3 sleeve art claims 'widescreen' - it lies. |
| Audio |
| The audio is English 2.0 Stereo and the mix is
in keeping with the rest of the film and how it
is presented, it's dire. Lacking finesse and fidelity,
this offers no directionality, no depth and provides
a distancing aural experience. Apparently, the whole
mix was done in only 3 days according to the director.
It shows! The Region 1 at least offers a choice
of English Dolby Digital 5.1 surround, English 2.0
Stereo, and Spanish and French 2.0 Stereo Surround
as well as English Closed captions, and subtitles
in English and Spanish. I think watching this in
Spanish or French would at least enhance the entertainment
value. |
| Extra Features |
| The Region 1 DVD includes additional material
including directors screen-specific audio commentary
track, a theatrical trailer in non-anamorphic 2.0
Stereo, and *ahem* talent files on the cast and
filmmakers(!) On the talk through, Anthony Hickox
apparently cuts loose, revealing the considerable
interference perpetrated by Lundgren and one of
the producers, both on set - constantly demanding
extensive reshoots, and to his original cut - subject
to extensive re-cutting against his wishes. Apparently,
this is something Hickox has never had to endure
before. Welcome to Hollywierd Tony! None of that
however is relevant here, as the Region 3 DVD offers
up in the way of supplemental material precisely
nothing, not a thing. Region 3 discs are, as I've
said before, and will doubtless say again, the 'cheap'
option, and here anyway the lack of extras doesn't
disappoint at all as I wouldn't ever wish to return
to this anyway. It's quite simply a waste of (DVD)
space and I couldn't face watching it again, no
matter how riveting Hickox's commentary might've
proved. |
| The Verdict |
I utterly loathed this film, it's an absolute
clutter - slow to the point of inertia, confusing
at times and quite abysmally penned, played and
helmed. Director Hickox is noted for garbage, this
one, even by his subterranean standards absolutely
takes the proverbial biscuit. The film is a dead
loss, the DVD a dead weight, so the only rating
conceivable is a big fat ZERO. Having not seen it,
a cheap R3 sight unseen purchase seemed the most
logical option, but I would recommend anyone considering
acquiring this, in either Region 3 or Region 1 to
seek professional help without delay.
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