Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011)
By: Devon B. on December 17, 2012 | Comments
Great Movies | Region B | 1.85:1, 1080p | English DTS-HD MA 5.1 | 91 minutes (Full Specs)
The Movie
Cover Art
Director: Mary Lambert Starring: Tiffany Darwisch, Debbie Gibson, Kathryn Joosten
Screenplay: Naomi Selfman Country: USA
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I'd heard about The Asylum for years, but it took me ages to delve into their output. When I finally did I got quite a few laughs, but nothing I'd encountered from the studio prepared me for Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, but I don't know that anything could ever prepare anyone for this. Just the fact that it stars two of Asylum's favourite thespians, Debbie Gibson and Tiffany (Darwisch), should alert viewers that this one is really reaching for something special, and by God they succeeded.

Gibson stars as an environmental warrior who steals lab animals and then releases them into the wild…regardless of whether they're native to the area or not. She releases the pythons that will eventually become the Mega (cheap CG) Pythons. Tiffany is a park ranger that spends so much of her energy being concerned about the environment that she has little time to be concerned about appropriate attire. She gets upset that the introduced snakes are killing gators, so she tries to eliminate them, which enrages Gibson. Tiffany comes up with a logical solution when her snake hunt fails – she makes the gators bigger so they can fight off the pythons. Of course. Because mutating the inhabitants will preserve a natural environment. The two species wage a war laden with really shoddy special effects.

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid makes King Kong vs. Godzilla look like Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman. It is impossible to break down all the dumb things that happen in Mega Python vs. Gatoroid without just transcribing the entire script as this film has more idiocy per second than any other movie I've ever seen. If someone created a drinking game where players drank whenever a character did something stupid or the plot made no sense, the result would be death by alcohol poisoning within the first half hour.

That doesn't mean Mega Python vs. Gatoroid should be avoided. Far from it, because this movie is either the work of satirical geniuses or utter morons, and I'm not sure which option makes the movie funnier, but either way it's fuckin' hilarious. The film is clearly not taking itself very seriously, but even so it only offers about two clearly intentional funny moments, the rest of the film is filled with laboured attempts at humour. The flopped jokes just add to the bereft-of-all-quality charm of the film, helping it become Mystery Science Theater material of the highest order.

Aside from one old lady who fares a bit better the acting is generally terrible, including the performances of our two stars. The film tries to build an intense rivalry between the leads, which maybe would work for fans of 80s pop, but given that the only thing sensible people will care about in these two's careers is that they both appeared in Playboy, the antagonism feels very forced. I was actually planning on mocking the lack of interest in the Playboy spreads, but I looked them up while writing this review and have to admit that Tiffany's was no laughing matter. Lest I start giving her too much respect as a Playboy model, I'll focus again on the thing that earned her her fame and say that each woman gets their chance to shine on the soundtrack, but rather than shine they both chose to perform a terrible song that reminds everyone why we let them fall off the radar in the first place.

If this is a satire Mega Python vs. Gatoroid has more gags than Naked Gun, if it's not, the people that made it probably really do belong in an asylum.
At times Mega Python vs. Gatoroid looks very good, but most of the time it can't overcome its low budget. The transfer doesn't seem to be at fault here most of the time, though there are problems like a bit of macroblocking, but other flaws like overly strong colours and inconsistency during FX scenes seem to be problems with the film itself.
The audio is a very front heavy affair, so despite being a 5.1 mix it's not immersive. There's a bit of distortion in a few places, but again I'd say the flaws are source material related. There's also a German dub, which seemed of similar quality.
Extra Features
The disc has a reversible cover to hide that FSK rating, the trailer and teaser trailer, a making of, a selection of other Asylum trailers and a small picture gallery. Aside from a few of the Asylum trailers, the extras are presented in English with no subs for the disc's local market. The making of isn't particularly long, but it is interesting to try and gauge what the filmmakers intentions were. Those involved seem to think it gets intentionally camp, but don't seem to realise the whole thing is camper than Tim Curry on a particularly outrageous day. Director Mary Lambert, of Pet Semetary fame, is either a better actress than anyone in the movie or genuinely doesn't know what a disasterpiece she's made.
The Verdict
Movie Score
Disc Score
Overall Score
By traditional standards Mega Python vs. Gatoroid may be the stupidest movie ever, but by Digital Retribution cheese standards it deserves far more accolade. I can't remember the last time I laughed this much at a movie, and can only imagine the guffaws it would earn with like minded individuals on a beer and pizza night. The film is so bizarrely awful that it will delight fans of so-bad-it's-good cinema, with the added bonus of knowing it will really disappoint any remaining fans of Tiffany and Gibson. Win, win!

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